As a person who works (or will work) overseas in the manner that I do, I get many comments about how dangerous things are and how I should be aware of certain people. While I do take natural caution to all of those things I can't help but notice how frequent these comments are and how they are backed with a kind and well meaning "You're so brave." Don't get me wrong, I know the people who make these comments are only doing so because of their love for me and their hopes that I live a long and prosperous life. To that I say thank you, I love you too, I respect you, and I hope your life is also granted the gift of longevity if it is God's will.
I land somewhere in my thoughts on this in a place where, once again, those whom I live around and love will think I am just a little short-changed in the noggin area. While people and places and situations are forces to be reckoned with I can do you one better that plagues every human life no matter who you are. It comes for us and holds nothing back and it is something deep and dark, never tiring, working in our circumstances and in ourselves.
You see, in this life we all have to be "so brave." It's not an enemy that backs down because of the guns you have or the cunning of your attack plan. It doesn't matter if you stay in these United States or go somewhere else, it follows you and everyone else, "looking for someone to devour."(1 Peter 5:8). I have been told to be aware of the dangers of people and places, but I have to say a more dangerous adversary works through simplicity and complexity, lies and deceit, and if I turn myself over to his sly words I am in more trouble than if a gun were pointed at my head and shot point blank.
I fear being devoured more than I fear a gunshot to the head, or a bomb in the next room over.
What is death? What is there to fear in death when Jesus Christ has conquered it and has promised that it is not necessary to dread death because of what lies behind it. Death is not the enemy, The lion that does not and will not lie next to the lamb in peaceful harmony is the enemy. I feel like people should be warning me instead:
"Be careful that while you are over there you do not believe the lies that are whispered in your ear."
Or,
"Remember to steep yourself in the Word so you do not give into worldly temptation."
Maybe even,
"Keep in mind, don't be afraid."
Where is this advice to heed among those who have loved Jesus and are wishing a worker well on her way? I know that people can be evil and thus devoured by this same evil I am talking about. However, it is that same evil that pursues me, and pursues you. It relentlessly and tirelessly surrounds and pounces whenever the opportunity arrives in our personal lives. I don't want to hear doubt in people's voices when they warn me of the evil in the world, I want to hear hope in the warnings because of what Christ offered and the fact that I accepted.
I know that people are hearing the lies and believing them, being devoured to the point of almost no return. I know it, and that is why I do what I do, because Jesus has more power than the one that devours, God reigns over him too. I know the dangers, I may be an unwed, mid-twenties girl, but I am educated about the dangers. You want to warn me of the dangers in this world? Tell me that when I hear things in my ears like:
"You aren't good enough, creative enough, smart enough, or strong enough to do this thing you are pursuing, just quit and stay here, get a regular job and find a husband to love you instead."
*Disclaimer: The above statement is pertaining to my situation only, my convictions about the work I am proceeding to do on this side of Heaven.
These are just lies, and stumbling blocks in your faith, don't listen to them. Warn me not to listen to the evil that will devour me and cause me to settle for the world and stop working for the Lord. Warn me that sometimes when I am alone over there this voice WILL get louder, be sure to go find a like-minded person in the faith to spend time with when this happens. Tell me to go find encouragement...or encourage me to continue on this path, be my noise blocker. Remind me to love the Lord my God with all my heart, soul, and strength and do not give into the worldliest parts of my being.
Tell me to keep my sword sharpened and at the ready for the adversary of my soul.
All to God
Friday, January 9, 2015
Monday, September 22, 2014
Brain/Heart/Soul Stuff
Oh hello fellow humans! Yes...remember me? I'm the inconsistent blogger who writes when inspiration hits and for the past few months inspiration has been as dormant as this blog...which I believe is the correlation here. Some days I just feel like writing with no real content attached and those are the posts that are a real drag. I have opened up this blog on many accounts over the last several months to write something but the words were lack-luster and unimportant (even to myself).
However, this time I feel like I can share some things that are of note that have been going on in my life and in my brain/heart/soul. So let's give it a go hmm?
Since I have been back in the States and loved on my family and my friends holding them close whenever possible but also spending a significant amount of time alone (some of my own doing and some of circumstantial normalities) I have noticed a few things. I've noticed for one the immense amount of spiritual warfare that this nation is under (although it does happen in other places) and the funny thing is most of the time it feels like normal everyday life. Come to think of it I don't think I have even shared these thoughts out loud.
I have felt this in my own life; When everyday routine comes and goes and suddenly what is so very important spiritually has now been watered down by living a life in routine. After a while it just kind of dawns on you that things that were happening to enrich your spiritual life have now been cut down by this lull of contentment. I don't mean this contentment that Paul talks about in Philippians 4:11-13; to be content in need and in plenty, hungry or well-fed because of Christ's strength. No that's not the kind of contentment I am speaking of because that kind of contentment is not a passive one. Paul's mastery of contentment was because he leaned into Jesus when he was hungry or fed, needing nothing and needing the requirements to simply stay alive.
I'm talking about the contentment that comes when we have a consistency of plenty and our spiritual lives get hung up in the hall closet. Must we be in physical need to feel that then we can rely on Jesus? Absolutely not. Spiritually, we are in need constantly but sometimes we become content to let that part of ourselves take a backseat, I am guilty of this and I know I am not alone.
This is the spiritual warfare I am speaking of in this nation and it is worrisome. Yes, we need Jesus, but we need him all the time not just when we are cold and we take him out of the hall closet and put him on for the temporary purpose of becoming warm again.
This is just what I have noticed since being back in the States in my own life and how I feel spiritual warfare in my own spiritual life and have recognized its traces in others. I am thankful for the Holy Spirit showing me that he is faithful all the time and tells me to come close and in the closeness he shows me my purpose, refining and renewing me for his work!
So pray for me? Also pray for those you know who are stuck in this rut of passive contentment because many do not notice it is happening. Like I said the Holy Spirit is faithful and he will protect and stir the hearts of those who are faithful to him even when stuck in these jams. I know that scholars have probably talked about this subject numerous times and WAY better than I can put it but it is what I have noticed and has been laying on my heart to talk about in the written form.
God is near and I am thankful.
All to God.
However, this time I feel like I can share some things that are of note that have been going on in my life and in my brain/heart/soul. So let's give it a go hmm?
Since I have been back in the States and loved on my family and my friends holding them close whenever possible but also spending a significant amount of time alone (some of my own doing and some of circumstantial normalities) I have noticed a few things. I've noticed for one the immense amount of spiritual warfare that this nation is under (although it does happen in other places) and the funny thing is most of the time it feels like normal everyday life. Come to think of it I don't think I have even shared these thoughts out loud.
I have felt this in my own life; When everyday routine comes and goes and suddenly what is so very important spiritually has now been watered down by living a life in routine. After a while it just kind of dawns on you that things that were happening to enrich your spiritual life have now been cut down by this lull of contentment. I don't mean this contentment that Paul talks about in Philippians 4:11-13; to be content in need and in plenty, hungry or well-fed because of Christ's strength. No that's not the kind of contentment I am speaking of because that kind of contentment is not a passive one. Paul's mastery of contentment was because he leaned into Jesus when he was hungry or fed, needing nothing and needing the requirements to simply stay alive.
I'm talking about the contentment that comes when we have a consistency of plenty and our spiritual lives get hung up in the hall closet. Must we be in physical need to feel that then we can rely on Jesus? Absolutely not. Spiritually, we are in need constantly but sometimes we become content to let that part of ourselves take a backseat, I am guilty of this and I know I am not alone.
This is the spiritual warfare I am speaking of in this nation and it is worrisome. Yes, we need Jesus, but we need him all the time not just when we are cold and we take him out of the hall closet and put him on for the temporary purpose of becoming warm again.
This is just what I have noticed since being back in the States in my own life and how I feel spiritual warfare in my own spiritual life and have recognized its traces in others. I am thankful for the Holy Spirit showing me that he is faithful all the time and tells me to come close and in the closeness he shows me my purpose, refining and renewing me for his work!
So pray for me? Also pray for those you know who are stuck in this rut of passive contentment because many do not notice it is happening. Like I said the Holy Spirit is faithful and he will protect and stir the hearts of those who are faithful to him even when stuck in these jams. I know that scholars have probably talked about this subject numerous times and WAY better than I can put it but it is what I have noticed and has been laying on my heart to talk about in the written form.
God is near and I am thankful.
All to God.
Sunday, March 30, 2014
My Take on "Noah"
I Saw Noah tonight...and you know when movies like Harry Potter came out or The Hunger Games screen writers and directors wanted the content to be as close to the book's story as possible because the story in itself is what captivates people. The story matters because stories that are timeless are guarded. They are guarded by those who love the story.
That's why when I saw the first "Hunger Games" movie and I saw how they adapted Katniss getting the mockingjay pin I turned to a friend and I said "this is not the way that happened!" I said it with outrage because it was such a simple thing and an important moment in the book. You know...the story matters.
But as I have come to know it this movie Noah is directed by the same person who directed The Black Swan which is fine in and of itself except for a major difference; the latter movie is not held up by a book it is simply made for film therefore whatever abstract or nonsensical thing happens is fine because it was firstly created for film.
But a book is a book and the author meant it to tell a story, real or fictional. However, the author of the book that Noah's story resides has long since passed away from this earth but the story still has many adoring fans. I understand that Hollywood is also Hollywood and to expect anything less than theatrical addition is ignorance. Many movies made from the Biblical stem have theatrical addition but it is at least coherent. This movie Noah is not the story of Noah his wife, three sons (and their wives and children). This movie is about rock monsters, magic snake skin, ancient bazookas, dastardly people who only eat meat, almost killing babies, and much much more.
I don't find it absurd that Hollywood changed it into an agenda piece, but I do guard Noah's story, and from the moment I saw glowing snake skin and women wearing pants I knew this piece would not reflect the story I know, or the culture in which it is written.
Let me get my point across before you think something that I'm not saying. I am not holding the makers of this film up to any of the Biblical standards I hold as my own standards. What I am saying is just as a consumer standpoint (not the fact that I do follow Jesus) is that I am guarding the story I know. All I have to say as a follower of Jesus is....the book is definitely better than the movie.
We all walked out of the theater laughing because of the insane adaptations. We made jokes like it was Lord of the Rings: Battle of Will at Sea or that the twins Shem's wife had will have to go find their uncles when they are older to repopulate because they had no wives in the movie. It's also interesting how Noah and his family seem to be vegetarians yet...there was no sign of fruits or vegetables in the beginning of the movie. The list goes on, the movie served it's purpose as an agenda, and now we can all move past it.
The best thing to remember if you are a person who is outraged by this adaptation of Noah's story is that God has already blessed us with his written Word and that story prevails no matter what man might make of it.
All to God.
That's why when I saw the first "Hunger Games" movie and I saw how they adapted Katniss getting the mockingjay pin I turned to a friend and I said "this is not the way that happened!" I said it with outrage because it was such a simple thing and an important moment in the book. You know...the story matters.
But as I have come to know it this movie Noah is directed by the same person who directed The Black Swan which is fine in and of itself except for a major difference; the latter movie is not held up by a book it is simply made for film therefore whatever abstract or nonsensical thing happens is fine because it was firstly created for film.
But a book is a book and the author meant it to tell a story, real or fictional. However, the author of the book that Noah's story resides has long since passed away from this earth but the story still has many adoring fans. I understand that Hollywood is also Hollywood and to expect anything less than theatrical addition is ignorance. Many movies made from the Biblical stem have theatrical addition but it is at least coherent. This movie Noah is not the story of Noah his wife, three sons (and their wives and children). This movie is about rock monsters, magic snake skin, ancient bazookas, dastardly people who only eat meat, almost killing babies, and much much more.
I don't find it absurd that Hollywood changed it into an agenda piece, but I do guard Noah's story, and from the moment I saw glowing snake skin and women wearing pants I knew this piece would not reflect the story I know, or the culture in which it is written.
Let me get my point across before you think something that I'm not saying. I am not holding the makers of this film up to any of the Biblical standards I hold as my own standards. What I am saying is just as a consumer standpoint (not the fact that I do follow Jesus) is that I am guarding the story I know. All I have to say as a follower of Jesus is....the book is definitely better than the movie.
We all walked out of the theater laughing because of the insane adaptations. We made jokes like it was Lord of the Rings: Battle of Will at Sea or that the twins Shem's wife had will have to go find their uncles when they are older to repopulate because they had no wives in the movie. It's also interesting how Noah and his family seem to be vegetarians yet...there was no sign of fruits or vegetables in the beginning of the movie. The list goes on, the movie served it's purpose as an agenda, and now we can all move past it.
The best thing to remember if you are a person who is outraged by this adaptation of Noah's story is that God has already blessed us with his written Word and that story prevails no matter what man might make of it.
All to God.
Wednesday, March 19, 2014
Mind Pocket
This week has been a terrible language week. By this I mean in language class, or just speaking in general has been a struggle. Words come out wonky and grammatically horrific. I mean, I'm normally bad, but this week makes other times feel as if I had almost mastered the language. Grammatical errors are normal when learning a language however, Monday's class took grammatical errors to a whole new level. It was almost as if it was the first day learning grammar again. Horrible. As I walked out of the classroom when our two hour class ended I think I literally face palmed myself.
Monday was bad, it's not gotten significantly better as the week has progressed however it's not gotten any worse. I've had good and bad days with language throughout this whole endeavor as one does in a foreign country. I have my list of small "wins" as far as language goes tucked away in my brain for when I truly am down about my language abilities. The flubs, the incorrectness, the almost sentences, well...they are too many to count. That's why that small pocket of "wins" are in my language survival kit.
This week I have had to pull out what few "wins" I have for a small dose of encouragement, like a drop of water hydrates a dry sponge. It's a system I built three years back the moment I knew I was going to live here. It's not a complicated system but for me it gets me through. Step 1: Speak simple words. Step 2: Feel good about your word choices. Step 3: Have people understand you. Step 4: Complete your task because of steps 1-3. Step 5: Hold a mental picture of the moment you felt proud of yourself while using what you know. Step 6: Create a pocket in your mind and stick these moments in there. Step 7: Look at them when you are feeling low about your language abilities.
So it's my seven step program I have created for myself so I don't go into an "I'm the worst and I'll never learn this language!" mode. I also remember that there are better days to come, and maybe even a day where I will actually join a conversation including multiple people instead of just sitting there listening. Maybe even a day (a long time from now) when I won't even have to think and I can just speak.
But today is not that day, and try as I might I will still come up short, not because I am terrible but because I am learning. Learning has a safety net, it allows you to have the wrong answers (granted you're actually trying). So yes, this week as far as language is concerned, has been a difficult one. My pictures in my pocket are getting a little tattered and it may be time to add some new ones sometime soon. I look forward to good language days.
If you are a monolingual starting to learn a new language like me then let me encourage you by saying that it is worth it, it's challenging, and it is rewarding. Let me show you reality in saying it will be very hard (unless you are a natural at this type of thing) and at moments very discouraging but there will be times when you feel like it is coming together and you can speak this language. If you really want it, you will get it. Simple as that.
Create that pocket and fill it up, my you pocket overfloweth.
All to God
Monday was bad, it's not gotten significantly better as the week has progressed however it's not gotten any worse. I've had good and bad days with language throughout this whole endeavor as one does in a foreign country. I have my list of small "wins" as far as language goes tucked away in my brain for when I truly am down about my language abilities. The flubs, the incorrectness, the almost sentences, well...they are too many to count. That's why that small pocket of "wins" are in my language survival kit.
This week I have had to pull out what few "wins" I have for a small dose of encouragement, like a drop of water hydrates a dry sponge. It's a system I built three years back the moment I knew I was going to live here. It's not a complicated system but for me it gets me through. Step 1: Speak simple words. Step 2: Feel good about your word choices. Step 3: Have people understand you. Step 4: Complete your task because of steps 1-3. Step 5: Hold a mental picture of the moment you felt proud of yourself while using what you know. Step 6: Create a pocket in your mind and stick these moments in there. Step 7: Look at them when you are feeling low about your language abilities.
So it's my seven step program I have created for myself so I don't go into an "I'm the worst and I'll never learn this language!" mode. I also remember that there are better days to come, and maybe even a day where I will actually join a conversation including multiple people instead of just sitting there listening. Maybe even a day (a long time from now) when I won't even have to think and I can just speak.
But today is not that day, and try as I might I will still come up short, not because I am terrible but because I am learning. Learning has a safety net, it allows you to have the wrong answers (granted you're actually trying). So yes, this week as far as language is concerned, has been a difficult one. My pictures in my pocket are getting a little tattered and it may be time to add some new ones sometime soon. I look forward to good language days.
If you are a monolingual starting to learn a new language like me then let me encourage you by saying that it is worth it, it's challenging, and it is rewarding. Let me show you reality in saying it will be very hard (unless you are a natural at this type of thing) and at moments very discouraging but there will be times when you feel like it is coming together and you can speak this language. If you really want it, you will get it. Simple as that.
Create that pocket and fill it up, my you pocket overfloweth.
All to God
Saturday, March 15, 2014
Nearly Spring Day Observations
As I sit out on the balcony currently waiting on the sun to make the leap over the the roof and shine directly where I am, I'm looking out to the scenery around me. It's turning again, into the season I have seen only once before in this country, and only briefly. There's a breeze on this 70 degree day and there are stray, unplanned tiny flowers blooming in the yard. It's clear across the valley, but not as clear as I have seen it before. I'm just happy that the temperatures have been higher so that people don't have to start fires and continue to build walls of smog.
People are hanging clothes back out on their lines instead of finding places and ways to hang them away from the wet and the cold. Trees are starting to come alive again with small buds daring to greet the real beginning of Spring. I can now say I have survived a very mild winter in this second country I call home. Keeping warm with wood and coal for the first time in my life was an endeavor, and an educator.
We wait patiently for the day that ice cream is back on the streets again and T-shirts and flip-flops can be worn again in town. I hear more birds tweeting and fluttering instead of just those nasty old crows that caw and never seem to go anywhere else. It's a beautiful Saturday here, we have nowhere urgent to be and I am simply waiting on the sun to poke it's head just around the edge of the roof.
Spring is a good season.
All to God
People are hanging clothes back out on their lines instead of finding places and ways to hang them away from the wet and the cold. Trees are starting to come alive again with small buds daring to greet the real beginning of Spring. I can now say I have survived a very mild winter in this second country I call home. Keeping warm with wood and coal for the first time in my life was an endeavor, and an educator.
We wait patiently for the day that ice cream is back on the streets again and T-shirts and flip-flops can be worn again in town. I hear more birds tweeting and fluttering instead of just those nasty old crows that caw and never seem to go anywhere else. It's a beautiful Saturday here, we have nowhere urgent to be and I am simply waiting on the sun to poke it's head just around the edge of the roof.
Spring is a good season.
All to God
Thursday, March 6, 2014
Time Moves Fastly On
Time moves way to fast. I am flabbergasted that it is already almost the end of the first week in March. Christmas doesn't seem like it was that long ago and it was a little over two months ago! It's insane the strides time takes when we aren't looking.
Now here I sit 8 months into this thing that this time last year seemed like a feat to achieve. With a mere 3.5 more months ahead of me. When I bought my plane ticket to get back home I felt like I was leaving the next day because this has literally been the fastest 8 months of my life thus far. I was asked by someone in the States how I felt about having to come back and I exclaimed:
SAD!!!
I am very sad about having to leave here. I love the friends I have made and essentially the second family I have here, but no matter where you leave from it's always like slowly pulling a band-aid off of very sensitive skin. It stung leaving the States, and boy..oh boy will it sting leaving here. It's like leaving something of extreme importance undone (not that I am the hinge of this outfit but you get it...). I'm not the most awesome of people to be in the position I am in, I make all kinds of mistakes all the time, seriously...so many mistakes. But I am SO thankful that God brought me here and has given me people who have loved and encouraged me through outright stupidity.
If you are reading this and you are a supporter of mine, first of all THANK YOU! As I've said before I cannot and will not say it enough to express my gratitude towards you. Second, I have a proposition for you; let's keep this thing going, it's a good thing wouldn't you agree? Let's take this relationship to the next level...supporters...will you go steady with me? I have started the process of becoming a long-term worker which means I need long-term supporters.
In 3.5 months I will be in a position where I can see you and talk with you face to face, which will be really nice! I am so sad about leaving but I am very happy about being with family and friends, I am also very happy about meeting new people who are just down-right top-drawer.
I am blessed beyond belief to know the people I know, love the people I love, and serve the True God who is super grace-filled, forgiving, and passionate.
Now here I sit 8 months into this thing that this time last year seemed like a feat to achieve. With a mere 3.5 more months ahead of me. When I bought my plane ticket to get back home I felt like I was leaving the next day because this has literally been the fastest 8 months of my life thus far. I was asked by someone in the States how I felt about having to come back and I exclaimed:
SAD!!!
I am very sad about having to leave here. I love the friends I have made and essentially the second family I have here, but no matter where you leave from it's always like slowly pulling a band-aid off of very sensitive skin. It stung leaving the States, and boy..oh boy will it sting leaving here. It's like leaving something of extreme importance undone (not that I am the hinge of this outfit but you get it...). I'm not the most awesome of people to be in the position I am in, I make all kinds of mistakes all the time, seriously...so many mistakes. But I am SO thankful that God brought me here and has given me people who have loved and encouraged me through outright stupidity.
In 3.5 months I will be in a position where I can see you and talk with you face to face, which will be really nice! I am so sad about leaving but I am very happy about being with family and friends, I am also very happy about meeting new people who are just down-right top-drawer.
I am blessed beyond belief to know the people I know, love the people I love, and serve the True God who is super grace-filled, forgiving, and passionate.
*If you are interested in supporting me long-term please comment below or you can find me HERE
All to God
Tuesday, March 4, 2014
What's in a name?
As you may have noticed from clicking on a link or just being really observant I have changed the name of this here little teeny tiny spot on an enormous map of web users. Yes I felt it was time to make the change, nothing very ground-breaking or anything like that. Just two different words on the same ol' blog.
So why the name Average&Avid?
I chose this name because...well like the last name...it describes me. While Aspiring was good and also described me I guess I wanted a title that didn't seem like a chase. That was not a great description of the point I'm trying to make however, I do still aspire. I aspire simply to be in God's will and use the time I have on this earth to share his grace with people. I have tried aspiring at many different things that were never meant to be (mostly in those ruddy teenage years where the world is your oyster.)
But I am what I am, I'm extremely average. Like... incurably average, I have never exceeded in anything in my life, I am the par...as par as you can be, I hit it right on the money. I play average guitar, my skateboarding skills are average, my entire academic career was average. I am where I am in life because of the astounding grace of God. I'm not an eye-catcher, my style is nowhere near chic or even quirky-cute, I have long straight as board blonde hair I couldn't even begin to know what to do with except sling it back in a pony-tail everyday. Honestly, I don't know if I'm overly good at anything! I'm average, a very average girl.
...I guess I landed among the stars? Thanks inspirational quote from every elementary school I've ever been in...
However, I am avid. I am avid about people. I love people, I love their stories, and I love relationships. I am avid about sharing the Truth that I have determined is just that...the truth. I can be shy sometimes but really I am avid about knowing people, and making them feel comfortable around me. Which comes in handy since a lot of time getting to know people is over coffee..and I am an avid coffee drinker. I am avid about Jesus and following him. I am avid about love. Love is good, it's always treated me well, I haven't always treated it well, but it has forgiven me time and again.
So those are reasons and choices. Average & Avid. Oh and by the way..I'm not fishing for compliments here when I say I'm average, because really it's ok. Average ain't so bad, some people are meant to be extraordinary and those people are pretty cool. But being the hot average mess I am..people seem to like me so that's tops.
Do you like the new name? It just feels closer to home to me.
All to God
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