What happens when: you transform

Recently one of my little cousins got baptized into Christ. I could not be more ecstatic for her life as a child of God, her experiences when she realizes that, yes, the Holy Spirit lives within her, and leads her. It is going to be a learning experience for sure, but I can't help but feel that it is a tight rope that not only her, but all new Christians walk. Do the people around her understand discipleship? Do they know how to guide her along the way effectively? Can they help her transform?

Transformation takes a lot of time, effort, concentration, and guidance. But when you see and feel transformation happen you understand how real it is. Transforming into Christ means a lot of life changes need to happen, staying the same doesn't cut it. So many times people get baptized and think, well I've reached the pinnacle of my spiritual walk. As most who read this know...this could not be more incorrect.

It's a scary mindset people can come into, these thoughts don't harbor Christian leaders. Last summer after returning to the states after the two months in Bosnia, me and three other people who had spent their summer in Spain came to one of the biggest churches in the U.S. Each of these countries are known to be slow to convert to Christianity and are very skeptical, sometimes resentful of Christianity, much less baptism. So as we sat in this huge church in Kentucky, we witnessed 200 people get baptized. This occurrence made me cry like someone had just ran over my puppy, the same happened with a few of the others. We had just experienced a summer where transformation was so hard to come by, yet when it happened it was so appreciated and nurtured by those who worked in those respective places for the Kingdom.

I wondered if each of those 200 knew what they were doing

So what happens when you transform? What happens when you're seasoned in your Christian walk yet you realize you still need transforming? I can only speak from my own experience of transforming, each transformation is unique but serves the same purpose. Mine, however, was like a slow moving roller coaster. I got baptized, understood somewhat of the implications of it, but now, I understand the implications exponentially better. Getting baptized at the age of 10 does take time to understand what it all means. A lot of my spiritual transformation started about the age of 16 when I realized that doing dumb things are just that...dumb.

You have to be willing to transform, otherwise you won't. Our God will not force you to transform, it is a choice, just like baptism. Oh and by the way transforming doesn't end until we stand in the complete glory of God. So our entire lives we are to strive to be better, transforming into the likeness of Christ. It's a beautiful thing this transformation.

All to God

What happens when: you decide to lead

There are many people in this life that I personally admire for their leadership roles and just their gusto to take charge in general. I catch myself in awe of the efficiency of those who do take charge even on a whim, it is their nature, and they do it so swiftly. It is obviously a spiritual gift that many don't get blessed with, yet I've met so many who have it.

So what happens when someone decides they are going to lead, they are going to step up and be the leader? What happens when that leader is there to please people but not just there to be a doormat, but actually use discretion and maybe even make some people angry? What happens when the leader does the right thing, instead of the popular thing?

Jesus was a trailblazer, he made people angry, but he did the right thing. Now I understand that leaders are not fully God and fully human all at the same time, but we are fully human with the Holy Spirit as our guide.

I did not grow up being a leader, I was never boss of the playground, to this day I don't see myself as a leader because I grew up following. I followed my big sisters, teachers, mom and dad, I was never the one in control of what to do with my life much less anyone else's, because I was the baby.

However, the more I find my identity in Christ the more I notice that I can be that leader, knowing that all the while I am being led by the Spirit. There is nothing more assuring than that thought. But I hope that all those Christian leaders in the making can understand this concept:

Find your identity in Christ.

Understand that leading means you must be willing to be led.

What's right is ALWAYS better than what's popular.

(Little but significant tidbit): Live out what you believe.

Leading is difficult and will be difficult, but the good news is we have a gift among gifts; the Holy Spirit.

All to God

My birthday

Today is my birthday and I keep thinking about the day I was born. Of course I don't remember it, but there are those who do. Like my Dad tells the story of when the doctor gave me to him and he went into the waiting room with me and my Grandma was appalled that he would bring out there and he asked her, "Well do you want to hold your new grand baby or do you want to complain about it?" I think about the stress I must have put on my mother's body since I was the naturally born child, no drugs, nothing, they even had to turn me around in the womb.

Though I understand that millions of children were born on February 11th in 1990, a part of me cannot give up the thinking about what God was thinking when I was born. What were his specific thoughts about me? I mean he foreknew that I would accept him, love him, and want to be in lifelong service to him. But when I was born into this world, in the flesh of this world, the sin of this world, what were his thoughts? He blessed me from the start, first surviving birth, and helping my mother survive my birth so that I would have her now on this birthday. I thank God I have my mom even now at year 21.

I often wonder if God is proud of the woman I've become thus far in life, despite my transgressions. I wonder how he will shape me when/if I reach 31, I wonder if he will be even prouder then. I hope so, I hope I (when I say I, I mean God through me) can make strides these next ten years for his Kingdom, so that when February 11, 2021 comes around I can look back and say life wasn't wasted, and look back still and say, love wasn't lost.

I praise God for bringing me this far in life.

All to God

I could be the Rabbit

I just want to help people. I want to love people, understand them and help them with their struggles in life. I want to introduce or reintroduce them to Jesus. I want to see the releasing smile on their face, I want their relationship, their friendship.

The ugly truth is, I could easily be an introvert. Sometimes I want to pull away when it's not the time. This could keep me away from people, but the fact is I naturally cannot be without people for too long. I'm glad put this need and passion for people in my life because I could be the rabbit in the hole that never comes out except to find food.

There are moments when I feel this happening and I force myself to come out of the hole. I think Satan can and does use this against me. I'm glad I have a God that's greater and sees a willing heart and sees it fit to help pull me out of solitude.

I'm not saying I'm a fully extroverted person but I'm at a healthy balance I think. There's enough driving me to be in the world and loving people.

All to God

Itchy Fingers

I have no news today, I have no inspiring words really. I'm just glad to be home with minimal homework. I have itchy fingers that want to write, but a mind that has slowed down from the busy week. I have no stories with a happy ending or coincidental happenings of the week.

I guess I just wanted to write and say I'm alright. I've made it through the week, no backed up homework assignments. Someone out there is praying for me, I guess I should put that in the plural form, people out there must be praying for me. I feel the power of God answering those prayers on my behalf. I want to thank those praying for me, I want to thank you humbly.

So there ya go, very uneventful (aside from homework) week. But I'm very thankful for it and thankful for the weekend so I can rest for a little bit. Happy weekend everybody and for those with a not so relaxed weekend I hope that all in all it is a good weekend.

All to God

Wonder working power

So I'm still reading Leviticus (yes I know...I've been there for a while). Anywho as I was reading today I couldn't help but appreciate the fact that we have to New Testament because of what the Old Testament teaches. As I've said before Leviticus is all about laws and things to do to keep the children of Israel clean, not exactly the best book to start a non-believer or new Christian on.

However it has taught me the appreciation for the new covenant, that in Christ we are truly free. It was because of the Israelites keeping themselves in the purity of God's law (as "best" they could) so that the Christ could come out of them and be a part of a pure people. Now...Gentiles..don't get in a tizzy God loved and still does love us as greatly as anyone else...hence the Savior, but he needed him to come from a certain prominent line.

Anyways, I was rabbit trailing...so in chapter 17 of Leviticus it talks about the sanctity of blood. How the life is in the blood and no one should eat/drink it. Part of verse 11 ties into what we know now as new covenant Christians. It reads ". . . for it is the blood that makes atonement for the soul." God commands that they use beasts and other things, but beasts have blood, so they were to use the beasts and their blood for sacrifice.

We allude to Jesus as being the lamb of God. He was the sacrifice once and for all. Life is in the blood, life is in the blood of Jesus. Leviticus...good stuff.

All to God

Wait, wait, wait

I guess the worst part of this whole "getting educated" to be a missionary thing is the waiting. Waiting for anything that you have been longing for and are passionate about for a length of time is hard. You feel like you're stuck in this world of almost there and it never feels like it is.

It's timing I guess. Because I know that if I had never come to Bible college or been introduced to this world of missions by diving in I would not be as passionate about it as I am today. Therefore, training is necessary (for me anyways) there is lots I don't know, nor will I know until I actually experience it fully.

I love friends and learning things and being close to home. But Jesus...but Jesus convicts me to go. But there is the need to cool my heels and sit back and listen for a while. I guess I've always been a go-er, and a promoter of travels without thinking it through. I've always been the one with the idea to just pack up and go, but I was not counting the cost, I now count the cost.

So as for now I guess I feel like the same mundane routine happens everyday and the only thing I really have to look forward too after all is said and done is a fat sum of debt. But I'm pretty sure that's not all there is to it.

I like the uncertainty of the future, I like the space in my life that hasn't been written on yet. Yeah it's scary, but only in the sense that I want to do things right, with the idea that I'm not perfect.

So that's where my mind is. Yep.

All to God