Telling of Power

Sometimes I wonder that if maybe I were born different, I might appreciate things slightly more, or at least have a better perspective. Let me clarify that I am in no way speaking against my upbringing or complaining about the life I have had in which case I know God has protected me. But I see people who have had great trials in their lives and come out of with faith in God that I have tried to have for so long. I have tremendous faith in God, but these people, they are made to give their testimonies.

Now I know what your thinking, well Emilie...everyone is made to give their testimonies. I agree. However I believe that there are people who have testimonies that only God could piece together so perfectly. Take my testimony for example, well, I don't have much to say, I grew up in church, baptized at the age of 10, hit my teenage years, rebelled for a short while. My conscience wouldn't allow me to rebel anymore so I stopped. Became more involved in my youth group, decided to come to Bible college. Wow riveting stuff right? Well I know I didn't go into detail, but if I did, it still wouldn't impact you much.

But there are people, lots of people, who not by their own will, have stories that glorify the Lord because of the work He's done in them. When I say "not by their own will" I mean, some things happened to them that they could not control, such as I could control rebellion but for a short period of my teenage life took it upon myself to go ahead and act upon. I could get dramatic and say "I hit bottom and God lifted me from the darkness I had created for myself." BUT that would not be the facts. Actually I just felt this urge to return back to what I knew was right all along.

SO whats my point? God never uses the strengths of this world to really drive something home. He uses the weaker things, the things that blindside us, that really make us think. Sometimes it comes in the form of people who have been battered, some form of physical disablement, sometimes it comes in major choices whether it be save the person that has not been saved and let the Christian die, or should I profess the name of Jesus because if I do the people might rise up against me.

I wonder if I didn't have this "privileged life" would I still sing "Holy is the Lord God Almighty" or would I be bitter and jealous? Would I praise God in the midst of my uncertainty of life? Or would I curse Him? Would I love Jesus all the more? Or would I mourn in my ailments?

Would you? Could you?

I would love to say yes I would sing, and praise, and love, but would I? It is only realized after being tested by faith that you can truly say yes...I would. I have been tested, and I hope I passed, but compared to others, my tests have been trying, but compared to a rape victim who forgives her/his offender? Compared to the person born blind, never seeing their mother's face or the sunrise, or anything, yet seeing beauty in God's love is beyond me.

This life is a vapor, how are we spending it? What are we gaining from it? How are we glorifying God in it? If we have a story are we too afraid to tell it? If God has granted us the GIFT of a life so telling of His power, how are we using it to bring other's closer to Him?

This is on my mind and I had to share it.

All to God.

Give me the River

I wish I could sing "I've got peace like a river" but the simple truth is I've got peace like a stormy sea. Now when I say this I mean in Christ I definitely have peace like a river, I am not upset or anything, I am just to dang eager! Everything inside of me is just far too ready to be done, and be out there. I'm not talking about just for a summer (although I am super excited about that) but for my life.

One of the most unfortunate things about being a missions major is that you hear about everything you need to know about being a missionary. You become trained and equipped (as far as one can possibly be). But after a while you get tired of having classes and having exams, you want to BE THERE ALREADY! But then you realize.....you can't, rushing these things are not very wise, and possibly might be outside of God's will. Obviously there are still things to be done here, whether it is being more deeply rooted in your walk with God so that when you go, you are ready, really ready. Or it could be that you have a purpose to fulfill and until that is done you cannot move onto the next stage.

It is still frustrating nonetheless.

My heart is trying to tell my mind to calm down without erasing the passion. It's not working too well but this combative feeling is emotionally draining. Anyway, I am striving for the "peace like a river" mindset in most situations because I really don't need to rush things. God knows what he is doing and he has time in his hands. So yeah if you could see emotion in someone and you saw mine....you would pretty much think I'm hyperactive or something like that. Hey maybe I am...who knows? Just needing that peace that

apparently flows calmly like that proverbial river.

All to God

Easier said than done

Tonight I along with our youth group went to a youth worship thingy called "The Path" some of you may know about it. Anyway, there was a very convicting message on 1 John 2:6.

1 John 2:6 says " He who says he abides in Him ought himself also to walk just as He walked." The message was basically, if anyone says he believes in Christ let him lead a life as He led.

This is hard to do. I mean obviously who can even fathom doing what Jesus did? Well as impossible as it may seem, it is what we are called to do.

We cannot just be fans of Jesus, we cannot just agree with everything He did and said. We have to look at His life count the cost of following Him, take His examples and live them out. Taking action instead of speaking words.

Jesus isn't a TV show with a great moral message and by the end of it you feel fuzzy inside or even excited. You can't turn Him off and on like that TV show. He is our constant example, our Love for eternity, our King who will come for us. He is everlasting, and thats a reason to lead a life like He led.

So yeah cool message, even though it's super simple to hear and understand, try living it.

All to God.

Attention please!

Hey guys I need YOUR help again! So this summer (2011) I'm going back to Bosnia and I am in need again. I am excited about this opportunity again because it gives me the chance to build relationships with people and strengthen already existing relationships. Also I will be doing language learning again, along with more culture learning.

I will not be going on this trip with an organizati

on, however this is to be my internship for school for graduation in May 2012 (God willing). BUT to me this is more then just a mandatory internship. Ever since I left I think most can agree that it has been a subject of conversation constantly. I think about the people I met and what God showed me there and I cannot wait to go back and have opportunities to share God's love with these people.

I will have the privilege to be around the missionaries I learned under this past summer. Learned under? I'm not sure that's entirely correct. Anyway I need to start getting together things like plane tickets very soon, I am not completely budgeted yet, I apologize for that, but I will be updating about that. I am planning on getting the plane tickets by at least the first week of November. It seems far away but it really is not! This is the first and most urgent thing concerning me financially.

The one thing I cannot stress enough the importance of prayer. I NEED you above all to pray for me. Pray that this is God's will for this summer for me, though I feel certain it is, we should always be open to the possibility that what we feel is certain, really isn't. Pray that if it is God's will that He would prepare the hearts of those I meet for what He would have our relationships come too. Pray that I can effectively show the love of Christ, and persevere through more language and culture boundaries. Pray for the missionaries that I might be a blessing to them instead of a burden. Pray honestly.

I can't thank you all enough who prayed for me and helped me financially last time that's why I'm relying on you again! I will update you on my budget situation.

THANKS!

All to God

Before I go home

I wanted to write a short something before I head home for the rest of the weekend. I'm pretty excited for a not so hectic weekend, those are always nice. I'm always pretty excited about going home and going to our church which 3 years ago would not have been the case.

So it's sunny outside and I need to get home while it's still early so I can enjoy this magnificent day. It started out well by drinking some tea that I actually really enjoyed (I'm not a tea drinker at all, give me COFFEE). But yeah sunny days

around my house are always really beautiful, I enjoy a country scene which is what we have in abundance. The sky against the cotton fields are the best part.

So yeah I should be on my way, to go to an awesome church, an awesome family, some sweet scenery, on a beautiful day. The little things

my friends.

All to God

50 Posts whaaa?

Wow, I write a lot....

Ok on to better things. Today has been a pretty decent day, well so far, it isn't quite over yet. However today isn't to bad of a day.

I like making plans with people, most of the time my plans are REALLY spontaneous...such is my life. Wednesday afternoon me and a few of my fellow cohorts (I enjoy using words I would never use in everyday discussions) just went walking about town. We really had a great time, we ended up in a grave yard where we sat on some benches and despite the lack of life we sat and talked and laughed about mysterious water that kept drizzling on us.

Just today those same cohorts and I went to a local ice cream shop that I had never been in and it was REALLY awesome in there. We had good ice cream and laughed a lot. Laughing seems to occur often between me and my friends which I am not against in any way.

Anyways, I'm all about doing random things, random situations. Not only doing random things but being with some really cool people in the process.

Friends are awesome.

Random stuff = fun times

Pictures of said random stuff is even better.

Pretty sweet stuff man.

All to God

The Baptist Said it Best

I cannot begin to express my desire to just all around be a better person. Even more so be a better person for God. Right now I am constantly reminded of when John the Baptist says "I must decrease and He must increase."

This has been eating at me for a good while tonight. I was reflecting earlier on my own personality and I discovered that I am a self pleasing person. I mean I know that a lot of people in this world are, even Christians. Although I almost painfully want to be a servant, to let others come far before me, I seem to want to keep a foot in front of them. As you can tell this is not my favorite attribute about myself.

I want to lift God up so much that my heart aches for it. But as an imperfect being, being in love with God is not as easy as it seems.

I know my love for my Savior is more than for any human, I KNOW this. But I love Him in the way that I know that my love can never surpass His love for me. God won't let me fall. He won't let me be completely obliterated by this world. Even if my physical being is destroyed, they cannot destroy the bond between me and God.

However, as I said, I am fallible and loving God takes concentration, and sometimes I can become somewhat ADD. Needless to say, I'm working on it. I had a conversation with God today about my heart, and I feel certain He has it under control.

I have felt a heaviness in my chest lately, nothing like a physical illness, but just pressing matters that I think God is laying on my heart. Like how to get some stuff started in my church, and what to do after college as far as money is concerned.

I have to give everything to Him, He knows me best and can deal with them far better than I could ever imagine. I must glorify His name even if I don't get answers straight away or the answers I didn't necessarily want. He must increase and I must decrease.

He must increase and I must decrease.

He must increase and I must decrease.

He must increase and I must decrease.

All to God.