Gods design is complicated

So throughout my time here I must say there are some things I didnt expect such as everyone eating at a coffee table together, and how crazy this grammar is in the language. But some things stand out among the rest. Some things surprise you, and what I speak of is not a good surprise, but in contradiction to that statement, this is something that is being used by God and I know it.

By now you are probably wondering what is this surprise you speak of? Well I am not at liberty to say but God is in control of it. Lets just say this thing that I am talking about is making me wonder and seek out God more, for wisdom, consolation, peace, and the right words when I need them. I am seeing strength grow and overcome fear in the people I am around. They can find humor in such a threatening situation. I have come to the conclusion that everything inside of me is now leaping for God as if this that has happened is the catalyst for my souls yearning.

It has made me pray with the most faith I have really ever used when praying, aside from some prayers every now and again. I have seen a love for God that doesnt cross my path too often among others. This thing which is not favored is teaching me things I never thought I would learn, this is quite the opposite way in which I thought I would learn but God works like that. He blindsides you and you cant do anything but notice. Gods design is complicated, and we should thank Him for that.

All to God

Contemplation Contemplation

Well I'm out here in a new place with a new language, new people, new ways of doing things. I can't help but think a lot about different things. Mostly my mornings start out at 7:30am, 8 if i'm lucky ;). We do a short devotion and then we sometimes just wing it through the day, other days we have a plan. Either way I'm fine with because both teach me different things. I just had my first language "class" and it wasn't awful, but after a few weeks my tutor says that she won't speak any English to me (AHHHHHH!). That scream was a scream of excitement and terror mixed into one. I really love this place what little I've been here. it's only been 10 days and it feels like a month (in a good way).

I read through 1 John today, I really love that book. It is amazing for this place I'm in, loving others and how if one does not love his brother that the love of God is not in him. It's convicting, we all want God's love in us right? Not only is it scriptural but it just feels good to love. Even to love those who make you wanna scream and not for the fun of it, makes you feel good inside. I don't understand when people say, "I hate people" even generally speaking. How can you hate people? Specially if you proclaim to be Christian, Christ carried the cross for me, he knew I would need him to even 2,000 some odd years later, he knew I needed him too. So how can people hate people even if they use the excuse that they hate people they aren't close too? I don't understand, yes there are evil people in this world, but everyone has a bit of evil resonating in us but there is light, there is good in us too. So why not love people so that they might see your light then maybe they will make the choice to let their good overcome the evil.

1 John has convicted me in a strong way. Being here I need a constant reminder to love and keep loving even when i don't want to love anymore it's still a good idea to keep loving. God loved us, he sent Christ to love and save us so that we may be forgiven and love just as he did, see the trickle down effect here? When I return to America I may need to understand how to love even more than now, but here's a good spot to start. He will teach me all these things I need in order to be a better advocate for Him. Pray for the people of this place.

All to God

It Ain't Pretty

I've started surfing. I've always wanted to surf, it's been a goal of mine for a long time. I just recently got my own board, which I am totally excited about, now I don't have to feel like a jerk for borrowing other people's board. This board is a beautifully used WRV 6'7" tail very well repaired from being broken almost all the way through, and a bubble in the rail. Yes my friends it is useable and still very good to surf with. It's a thin little sucker width wise and kind of hard to balance on when sitting on it in the ocean but I am very quickly getting used to it.

I found this board in the Rodanthe Surf Shop, a very small surf shop right beside a gas station. I just went in there just to see if they had anything new since the last time I went in (like at least 3 years ago). Looking at the boards I see this one for $125, the cheapest board I have found. So the next day we went back to check it out, the owner of the store told us everything that was "wrong" with it. But you know what I saw? Promise. This previously owned board looked awesome to me, even though there are much better ones out there, and a lot more pretty, I was looking at my first surf board ever in life.

You must be thinking..ok Emilie get to the point. Well here it is sometimes beauty doesn't really have to be beautiful. I found this board without anticipating actually finding a board that I would take home after a night. It's discolored, previously damaged, yet very well repaired. It rides beautifully. It's easy to paddle out with and I feel safe with it. Looking at it, it doesn't look new, and if you look closely you can see the repair. So let me get spiritual for a minute. I picked this board yeah because it was cheap, but when I surfed it, when I really knew what it is capable of still, it's previous life didn't matter anymore. Isn't that how God see's us? We are damaged, disfigured little creatures, but if you look real close you can see the repair aka Jesus.

Everybody can tell us exactly whats wrong with us, why we should be wary of our own selves. Lowering our self value to oh say $125 just because we've been broken, yet our repair is amazing and priceless. God uses us because though we are messed up once people understand what Jesus is capable of once the Holy Spirit comes through us to minister, then people will see the smooth times that lie ahead once they understand the eternal reward of their second life. Like riding a wave, once you take that once busted up board out there and see what it's got then you can see it's long-term benefits for you. It's really a beautiful way to think about it if I do say so myself.

I'm sure God sees us as beautiful despite our brokenness, and how warped we are. The world takes it's toll, waves take their toll. But our repair stands eternal.

All to God.

Cheers to the end and a beginning

2009-2010 school year has officially ended, as I type right now I am sitting at my parents house. Car still has everything that was in my dorm room in it, I'm a little lazy. I sit here with excitement and contemplation in my heart. I feel the need to lean on God more than ever at this point and just let go.

I have about two weeks until I leave for this mission trip, I have a friend leaving for Africa tomorrow, and I know right about now she is freaking out, and if she is reading this then I want her to know that I love her SOOOO much and I'm praying for her. There is a lot that needs to be done in preparation for this summer, and I have two weeks to do it. Crazy.

Spending time with my family is pretty much what I want to do these few weeks home. I know for some people this trip wouldn't be a big deal but to me it is. I have never ridden an airplane, I've never been out of the country, I've never been out of the country to minister to people, I've never done this. It's a summer full of firsts and I'm excited for it, but really nervous at the same time.

So many people from school are going out of the country this summer and I am so excited to come back from my far away land to hear their stories from their far away lands. May God work this summer in us all this summer as we go out to minister to those who do not know Jesus.

All to God.

The days grow shorter

The days get shorter and shorter until the end of the semester, until my first mission trip to Eastern Europe, until I can see it. When I mean it I mean a whole other realm of the world, a whole different people, a different way of living. Also when I mean it I mean to be able to see God in our purpose this summer.

More than anything I want to know God, love God, and feel God. God is my ultimate desire, He is the one being that my trust is completely in, that I can't fully understand but want to so badly! I want to give thanks to Jesus more, daily grasp that He lives in my heart, contemplate His words daily, and have Him as my guide to figure out this life of mine. It's almost like hanging onto a cliff because you are to afraid to fall, and your so high up that the clouds cover the ground, and someone on the cliff tells you to loosen your grip. When you finally do, you are scared to death but at the same time you feel the exhilaration of the free fall. As you get closer to the ground you brace yourself for impact only to find yourself swooped up by an eagle, or something romantic like that. But that's how God's love is, it's romantic. The Bible is romantic, the playing out of His plan is romantic.

God desires that I follow Him closely, does He need me too? No, He's God, He really needs nothing, but He wants me, He desires me to love Him just as He loves me. How incredible! The God of the entire anything you can think of that has been discovered or undiscovered desires a speck on the earth like me. He calls me, He counsels me, He gave up His life with pain for me.

The days grow shorter, until the end of this semester, until my first real mission trip, until my first overseas experience, even until the day the Lord appears on the earth again, and I want to bring many with me.

Even though I walk through the valley of the shadow of death, I shall fear no evil.

God is with us, He is in us, and we shall fear no evil, we should fear nothing, the light of the world is in us!

All to God

They are the reason....

Today I had an encounter, one that I knew would happen just never really thought I would see it so soon. I guess I'm a bit ignorant sometimes. But anyways here goes; Someone blatantly opposed my work that I am going to do overseas. However, I am somewhat grateful this happened. It opened my eyes to how quickly this can happen and with people you don't expect. I love this person, I do, and I am glad they showed me this, I count it as the smallest precursor to the opposition I will encounter later in life.

I prayed for this person, I say that not to seem noble or holy, but to say that these people need prayer, it is the only thing that will touch them. I can't help but wonder what could be accomplished if these strong willed people would only turn their gaze to Christ. We would see more love and commitment if they would only see. Pray for them.

All to God.

Every Altering Sacrifice Teaches Eternal Resurrection

This Easter there is a lot that has been going through my mind. Of course the theme of anything I think about is Christ's Resurrection. My preacher today in service explained something that I never really put much thought into. He said that when Christ was resurrected he went to the souls who went before him, so that they might hear the good news. He went to save the ones who were already dead, not only did he come to save the living but he came to save the ones who seemed to be unsaveable.

This is my Savior's power and I am nothing without it. Hearing that today made me want to go into the world and teach people even more! I want everyone to know the love that I feel and freely have everyday, I praise God that I can have it. My preacher emphasized going, baptizing, and teaching, and I felt like he was talking straight to me.

He is my strength, He is my love, He is my power, He is my will, my hope, and nothing will stand in the way of the purpose set before me.

All to God.