PHEW!

So as I sit here eating a very delicious bowl of Wendy's chili at midnight, I must exclaim:

PHHHEEWW!

I'm very tired and very hungry and work was a beat in the face that reminds me that these kind of jobs are not my calling in this life. But it also reminds me that I must go through this now for the bigger concept of how my life might pan out. 

And oh, how I am yearning to get to that point, when these small jobs become significant stepping stones to bring me further down the road and help me see clearer where the path is leading me. I thank God a lot that I have this job to see me through my financial needs and I thank him for providing for me in so many ways. I also thank him for allowing me to see bits and pieces of what he has for me in the future so that it might get me through the not so desirable yet important jobs that should help me.

Some weeks are rougher than others, if there is one important skill that God has taught me and is still teaching me through my years is the dreaded patience. I thank him for helping me wait it out, without his masterful tutelage I would be fuming out of the ears ready to get out of here and do what I want to do and not care about anything else.

And who wants to be friends with that kind of person?

Well I'll continue to ponder over my chili and sleep off another hard evening at work ready to wake up and take on another one.

All to God 

Raging Seas

Have you ever had a day where it seems that everything seems to be going exceptionally well? Me too, well almost. Yesterday I had a great first half of the day but then when I got to work that day that had been so good turned into a big ugly mess.
Every time I turned around I was doing something wrong. At most every moment I needed help with something. I'm sure that every customer thought I was the new kid on the block even though I have been there for two months.
Anywho, though I had a terrible work day I came home with a blistering feeling of annoyance with myself. All of a sudden I realized that I couldn't keep this self-loathing feeling up or my night would have ended with the sun going down on my anger.
Even being angry with myself I couldn't let my anger be my last emotion before I went to sleep. So, I started thanking God for all the good things and blessings that he had given me that very day.
So I guess what I'm saying is that although I may have had a really bad night, by the end of it I had to think of the positivity that I had earlier that day. Thanking God and giving him all the praise even in the terrible funk I was in helped me not only sleep but feel a sense of peace that only really comes from knowing that there is a Father who does give us that peace even when we feel that the peace inside of us has been utterly rocked.
It's a love that moves us through our troubled souls. It's a love that calms the very raging  seas.
All to God

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Solo Oh No, and Other News

I've been working a lot, I've been building relationships with people in my new community and that feels good. I have found a church to be my constant and I am excited about where that might lead me. I have been very busy lately so I am sorry for not writing to you all for a while.

Well life is moving and I can see God putting people in my path. He is teaching me more and more that outside of the "Bible college bubble" that ministry is life. I am grateful for this intensive course in ministry and I don't even have to draw a loan for it!

In other news there is a lot to be done and I wouldn't be human if I never admitted my nervousness in how it will all pan out in regards to next year. I have so much faith in God that it will come together for my good as he knows what is best for me. I have not seen the door close yet so I will go along this path that I am taking these days, but the good news is I don't have to walk it alone.

Often times we are catching this contagious sickness that I will deem the "solo oh no" simply because it rhymes. But what this sickness' side effects contain are: a feeling you are the only one going through something or challenged by something, discouragement, fear, doubt, and possible anger may occur.

The cure of this "solo oh no" is remembering that you are not alone physically, spiritually, or emotionally. There are others out there in this tiny world that are doing or going through some of the same things that you are, thus having the same feelings. There is also a God who understands and knows that it ain't all peach cobblers on a warm summer afternoon around here.

I am a culprit or victim (however you look at it) of "solo oh no" when it comes to things like paying off school debt and still making it overseas next year. These are anxieties that I have most and that I know that I am not the only one trying to do either of those things but sometimes it still gets to me. And if you let him, God will sort it out in yours and my willing hands.

Life is good and exciting, and challenging, but we have been given the tools to accept that challenge and meet those expectations.

All to God

If It's the Beaches

I saw it coming, I told myself it would happen, and alas, it has. I have reached a point where nostalgia is not good enough, and I crave the real thing. I've seen pictures, and read newsletters of the new happenings in Bosnia and I think I almost shed a tear. I very much miss that place and those people and I miss learning about it from those people. I'm sad that this year was not the year to go, but I am leaving it in God's hands and allowing my faith to be open for the ministry that could be had here in the States.

It already feels like I could be used here in very timely ways. Though there is always a feeling of the long-term goal lingering, especially if you have already had a taste of it. I miss that place something awful but I know and feel in my heart that this is the place that God wants me to be for now, and what a better place to be than the beaches of North Carolina!

Next year however, Lord willing, I will be there, learning, planning, ministering. This year I am still doing things on the cross-cultural side, even letting people of the cross-cultural persuasion live with us! I am very excited to have a slew of new friends that I can call family.

I think it's gonna be good. Don't you think?

All to God.

One or two years ago

One year ago

One year ago today, this day May 30th, I got on a plane with one of my favorite people, Steph Saufley, in the JFK airport to fly into Moscow which led to Vienna, Austria where we waited on another of my favorite people, Beth Summay, to pick us up. We waited for maybe 2 hours after we landed because of some traffic complications in Vienna but what a welcome sight it was to see Beth walking towards us. All the while of course I could have looked online with the complimentary internet service that the Vienna airport provides to see that they were running a little late. Silly me.

Then we drove many-a-mile through Hungary where Steph, Beth, and myself were very much without a personal bubble in the backseat of the Summay's Astra. We made a little map stop on the way through Hungary, but it all went well because another woman I wouldn't mind hugging again, Liz Crittendon along with Cindy Cobb (who I also wouldn't mind hugging again) got us to BiH by sunrise and all was well. 

Two years ago

Two years ago today, this day May 30th, I was still in Kentucky in training for my first experience of BiH. It was the first week I met and got to know Beth face to face, as well as my fellow teammates and the other interns who were going various places in the world. Even Steph was there to coach the Spain team, who knew a year later she would be going to Bosnia with me and I would be, in a small way, coaching her for a week. Being in Kentucky on this day I can't exactly remember what we did, so much happened that week, but I know that it felt like we had all been friends for a very long time, and by today, two years ago, we had only known each other for five days. 

Both years I also walked into my terminal at the beginning of each adventure with a heavy heart because I was walking away from some of my most favorite people, my family, my mom, dad, Annie, Brian, Katie, and Dave. But there is a certain peace that God gives you in situations such as these. The heart that was heavy turns into total faith because that's all you really have when you leave most everything you know behind. It's a faith that you can't ignore, one that you can't help but be thankful for in times when you suddenly feel sharp instances of fear only to be calmed and reassured by the only One who can soothe the soul.

Soon enough I'll be setting off on a new adventure, one that will go on longer than just a summer, one that will no doubt be hard yet thrilling all at the same time. 

You all have been an integral part in these last two years in regards to ministry and future ministry. I am truly thankful for your ongoing prayers and your ongoing gifts of financial sacrifice and I am excited to share in this next endeavor with you. I hope you will get on the plane with me next year.

All to God

All the new things

Hello all! Well It has been an interesting few weeks to start off the summer and the year before I head off to Bosnia. There is newness all around even in simple life itself and I excited to tell you about it as well as live it with you.

Many new things are afoot; I have recently started a new job to help with the rent of my new house and to fund the eating habits of a new cook who is starting to reap the benefits of being around her mother for 22 years while she makes supper for all of us. Also, finding a new church to attend and flourish in is also a new thing in my path. New friends, a new community, new people to minister too if the gospel so presents itself as it often does.

There is a lot that is going to happen this year and I have a funny feeling that I will learn a lot since I have already started learning a lot. Much of this year will be used in preparation for next June when I will hopefully be heading over to Bosnia for a full robust 12 months.

And there's a lot that goes into this year for the next year.

However, I do plan to enjoy this summer and the time I've been given here in the States for using the 24 hour beach access I have and hanging out with family and friends. All the while I will be working to earn the trust of financial supporters and prayer supporters which I am excited to really start...well....starting.

Please be in prayer for this next year as I am raising support, teaching myself a little more Bosnian, and just living life in new ways. Thank you all for your prayers and financial sacrifices, you are all too kind to me.

All to God

Expanding the Overload

Ok, so here is the long version of Blessed Overload that I promised you.

Days like yesterday always happen to quickly. Too many congratulations, hugs from dear ones, pictures, and questions about the future. All these things are things met with the joy of a new graduate who loved the congratulations, hugs, pictures, and questions. All the friends and family who gathered in the same building yesterday giving a hoot and a holler as I walked across the stage really encouraged me to know that so many people have supported and still do support me throughout the years.

These are only a few of the very important people who have supported me and who I believe always will (my Dad isn't in the picture but he's one of them too!) Even through academic struggle or personal struggle, each of us had the love it took to deal with each other and be proud of each other nonetheless (and this goes for my friends too.) It is a love that through each network of persons who have loved through the trials and victories reflect the kind of love that God has for me. This has encouraged me more than anything throughout my college years.

It will take a few.......months to let all of this sink in, it is still very new and different since I have spent the last  16 years in school. God has blessed me with the amenities to live life outside of school as he has provided me with a job and a place to live. I am excited for the future but for now I am swimming in God's blessings and showering him with praise in return.

As it was said in the commencement ceremony, we have a more important task before us, and I am excited to carry out the task! I am excited also for those who are working for the same cause, those who made this milestone with me!

Thanks for your encouragement and prayers because as I have said many times before and it never is any less true, are blessings beyond measure. So thank YOU.

All to God