No more math

Man O man, here it comes, another school year full of things to do people to meet and random occurrences that happen throughout. It's something to get used to year after year, because every time it's something completely new. I love it though I honestly do, between all the serious work that takes up most of our time, we as students come together and in some way or another we fellowship. Being with these people is like getting your dose of laughter and reality, spiritual uplifting and trials to make you stronger. That's just in a day.

I feel that my focus this year will be somewhat...well...more focused. The plus side is I don't ever have to take another math course ever! But that's besides the point. I cannot go into this school year without keeping the memories of this past summer in my head all the way through to the end. My aspiration is to become a missionary, this summer I learned more closely about what that was like. So since this is what I am going to school to be "trained" in, I just might work a little harder now that I've seen it for myself, which sounds really bad but it's true. God showed me a lot this summer He especially showed me that He wanted me to be doing this.

So I'm super excited to get back to this whole school thing with a little more vigor than usual. I miss a slew of people who taught me a lot, whether they knew it or not. I found a love for people who for some Americans are just wanting to bomb the place. I'm ready to really show my love for them, to get to school and make the grades so that I can get back to them. It's going to be a good year.

All to God

Oh the places you'll go

Oh the places you'll go, the wonderful sights to be seen, the gracious people you'll meet, the wonderful food you'll eat, the great experiences to be had, life lessons out of the blue, finding new things in new places high and low, Oh the places you'll go! Oh the places you'll leave. The sights will be gone the people will be a long distance away, the food missed everyday, only mere memories of your experiences that outlined your existence there, going back to the same ol' same ol'. But the lessons..the life lessons that have changed you molded you, kept you thinking, made you wonder, question, and analyze, they never die.

Soon I won't be here anymore in one day I leave this country and go to another one, a week from now I completely leave Europe altogether. I've never left a place feeling more challenged and more aware. These are good things and I am excited to share these things with people. But there is a tug at my heart and I can't quite explain it. I don't want to leave, I want to stay, I want to learn and be more aware, and be even more challenged I want to see with clearer eyes. I want to be bold, I want to speak the words of Life to the people boldly like Paul writes to the Ephesians, but I don't want to speak foolishly. I want to have many friends that I can laugh with, and when we see one another it is always a welcome sight.

In a week, 7 days, I will be gone, just like that. I keep in mind that there is a time for all things to come and to pass but it's hard to leave. I am so ready to see my family to hug them and speak to them face to face because I love them so much and have missed them. However, I feel God kneading me out like dough so that I can work the way He would have it, I can feel it. It is an incredible feeling and I want to feel it always I never want to grow immune to it because I know it is my Father who is calling my name and man, I love my Father.

Oh the places you'll go, Oh the places you'll leave, Oh the places He will lead you, and Oh the life He will give you. Leaving this place is not the end of my journey here, but a part of it. I plan to come back again next summer, and I am thrilled. But until then God has need for me elsewhere and I follow my Father's voice, until He calls me home. So America, I'm coming back, a new person, hopefully a better person. I'm coming back because those are the orders of my Father, and I know what He has for me will be great if I just open my eyes and see.

Oh the places you'll go.

All to God

Happiness in unity?

What is unity? Well to be directly exact here is the definition: The state of being one. I have been thinking on this subject because I guess I am given a chance to actually prepare something on unity. However it has captured my attention further than just a 10 minute lesson I am to give. I mean, I am still learning what this means also.

You see I have contemplated unity, and honestly I have come to the conclusion that unity with one another doesn't mean you must be happy with one another. Verse 2 of Ephesians 4 reads like this; "with all LOWLINESS and GENTLENESS, with LONGSUFFERING, BEARING with one another in LOVE, ENDEAVORING to keep the unity of the Spirit in the bond of peace." I spilled over into verse 3 but I thought that was important. People think a lot of the time that to be unified, to be "one" with each other does not mean you can't have differences, lowliness; humbling yourself so that you can be in unity with others. Gentleness; handling situations in a calm manner, and with compassion. With longsuffering; suffering with one another, even when suffering is unbearable. Bearing with one another; just bearing each other, not being in complete agreeance all the time, bearing each other in any situation. Love; love those who you are unified with, you may not like them sometimes but in companionship love is the strongest aspect of all. Endeavoring; striving to keep the unity, not taking the easy way out and saying forget it, but willing to go through the strife of unity because you love one another.

Unity takes hard work. We are unified with God through Christ. Talk about hard work, Jesus had to be beaten, he had to let blasphemous words roll off his back, he had to keep QUIET because he knew death on a cross must happen. He did this so we may understand the sufferings that may come with unity, that we can see the love and longsufferings we must endure to be unified. That we must bear one another just as Jesus bit his tongue as many of his people scrutinized Him. These are the qualities of unity that many do not want to face, they wish to be unified by happiness and love that is lighthearted, while all that sounds great, the reality is real unity takes more than this. It takes the understanding of why Christ died because without that we would never...ever understand what true unity is. It's not rainbows and flowers, however unity reaps goodness and truth, true brotherhood and sisterhood, if only we can see that unity takes time and patience, Christ showed us how it's done, and he still does.

All to God

Time is a slippery fella

The time to leave this place for another packed academic year is growing extremely close. I cannot get over how fast it has gone, how many twists and turns this summer has taken and how many more to come. I am very sad about having to leave, however I am excited to tell people about a place that unfortunately is somewhat forgotten by many especially in America. There is so much more to learn and to experience and to share, I feel like I shouldn't leave within a couple of weeks.

It has made me think about time. Not necessarily how time flys, it is actually the same everyday. Rather, it has me more concerned with how we spend our time. I know through the course of my life over half of it has been wasted selfishly and I can never get it back. Coming here has taught me many things and one very important one is fellowship. We need to spend our time investing in people (by the way I'm preaching to the choir). Jesus invested in people, not only that near the end of John he prayed for those who WOULD believe. Not only did he invest in people that were present at the time but people who were to come. Hey, he still does!

Time is something not to be wasted but it is something to be used for the good of this world, and so many use it for the demolition of the world. Our life is but a breath, and this is true, I feel an enormous urgency to catapult myself into the rest of my life where I am just a servant, and every waking moment I strive to let Christ shine through me. This is a difficult task, although it has the "just do it" factor to it, the problem is just doing it. Procrastination is a thing of the devil, and I stand by that theory.

So like they say in school, use your time wisely, you don't necessarily have to have a plan of action to go and serve others, or just lead a godly life. I challenge you to try, as well as I challenge myself.

All to God

Interruptions

I cannot seem to shake the fact that God has everything in the palm of his hand, nor would I want to. The fact that God is in control of all things is not what scares me at all, what scares me is the fact that I want to be in control so much of the time. I love my God and I love that He knows exactly what I need and He hears my every worry and deals with it so I don't have too. There has been a recurring theme lately among the people I am around as well as this entire country. Fear.

Fear is just an evil thing that we harbor and is so hard to let go of because in some messed up fashion we think because we fear it makes us feel safe. Safety, we all know, is certainly not found in such a dark place such as fear. Nothing good comes out of fear, yet we keep it within us like it is something that will help us. Fear of the unknown, fear of feeling out of control, fear of being "not good enough". God knows all things, God is in control, and God made you who you are, not like anyone else, you are you just as God intended.

Fear is a consuming disease. It isn't like a cold that you just take tylenol for and you make it all better in a few days. At the risk of being very blunt (and these words are only my thoughts on current situations that have risen here), fear is like none other than a cancer. I mean get this, people can die of fear. Take hoarding for an example, people can be taken over by the fear of throwing away things that "mean something" to them, even though it's complete junk. Not joking about hoarding, it is serious, just using it as an example. Also take phobias, people who are deathly afraid to step out of their house, people who are so afraid of needles they won't get the medicine they need that would otherwise keep them alive.

Fear takes time out of the day, good thoughts and swaps them for fearful thoughts, makes you want to seclude yourself from others, it depresses you, it takes a part of you and makes it hard to live. So control is just something we ought to leave to God, we don't know our future, we don't know the choices that God will put before us. However we need to know that he will guide us, comfort us, and love us more than anyone...ever. Fear is not love, because fear brings forth torment. God will overcome fear if we only believe and stick with that belief that He will. Thank God for that.

All to God

Gods design is complicated

So throughout my time here I must say there are some things I didnt expect such as everyone eating at a coffee table together, and how crazy this grammar is in the language. But some things stand out among the rest. Some things surprise you, and what I speak of is not a good surprise, but in contradiction to that statement, this is something that is being used by God and I know it.

By now you are probably wondering what is this surprise you speak of? Well I am not at liberty to say but God is in control of it. Lets just say this thing that I am talking about is making me wonder and seek out God more, for wisdom, consolation, peace, and the right words when I need them. I am seeing strength grow and overcome fear in the people I am around. They can find humor in such a threatening situation. I have come to the conclusion that everything inside of me is now leaping for God as if this that has happened is the catalyst for my souls yearning.

It has made me pray with the most faith I have really ever used when praying, aside from some prayers every now and again. I have seen a love for God that doesnt cross my path too often among others. This thing which is not favored is teaching me things I never thought I would learn, this is quite the opposite way in which I thought I would learn but God works like that. He blindsides you and you cant do anything but notice. Gods design is complicated, and we should thank Him for that.

All to God

Contemplation Contemplation

Well I'm out here in a new place with a new language, new people, new ways of doing things. I can't help but think a lot about different things. Mostly my mornings start out at 7:30am, 8 if i'm lucky ;). We do a short devotion and then we sometimes just wing it through the day, other days we have a plan. Either way I'm fine with because both teach me different things. I just had my first language "class" and it wasn't awful, but after a few weeks my tutor says that she won't speak any English to me (AHHHHHH!). That scream was a scream of excitement and terror mixed into one. I really love this place what little I've been here. it's only been 10 days and it feels like a month (in a good way).

I read through 1 John today, I really love that book. It is amazing for this place I'm in, loving others and how if one does not love his brother that the love of God is not in him. It's convicting, we all want God's love in us right? Not only is it scriptural but it just feels good to love. Even to love those who make you wanna scream and not for the fun of it, makes you feel good inside. I don't understand when people say, "I hate people" even generally speaking. How can you hate people? Specially if you proclaim to be Christian, Christ carried the cross for me, he knew I would need him to even 2,000 some odd years later, he knew I needed him too. So how can people hate people even if they use the excuse that they hate people they aren't close too? I don't understand, yes there are evil people in this world, but everyone has a bit of evil resonating in us but there is light, there is good in us too. So why not love people so that they might see your light then maybe they will make the choice to let their good overcome the evil.

1 John has convicted me in a strong way. Being here I need a constant reminder to love and keep loving even when i don't want to love anymore it's still a good idea to keep loving. God loved us, he sent Christ to love and save us so that we may be forgiven and love just as he did, see the trickle down effect here? When I return to America I may need to understand how to love even more than now, but here's a good spot to start. He will teach me all these things I need in order to be a better advocate for Him. Pray for the people of this place.

All to God