Searching

I'm searching out my life. That's a weird statement to make but it's the honest truth. I think it's the best thing to do right now because of my missions trip coming up. Yes I'm totally excited about it but I understand the seriousness that comes with it, excitement can't overtake the importance of this summer.

The last blog I wrote I spoke about how impeccable God's timing was and is. Since that event happened I have been thinking a lot about God's timing in my life, not just His timing but His will. I've been digging deep into some harsh realities of my life. The fact that my service hasn't been all that great, I have been feeling an overwhelming pull to just serve. Serve unconditionally and happily. Also I have realized that missions is the right way to go, but I cannot even be in control of that. That is why I'm so stoked to go to Bosnia, I didn't choose it. I've been praying a lot about this because I'm very tired of living a life where I even want to be a little bit in control. This word CONTROL is such a huge factor in life that it completely constricts us. Control gives us fear and anxiety, I would rather give it to God.

I'm excited that missions is my life and that I feel that I have confirmation on that. This is one thing I'm sure of, and that is comforting. The Word must be my anchor, the will must be God's. I love God because He loved me first. My hope is that God will use me only for His will. I am excited to become the missionary that God will form me to be.

Peace.

Not our timing

The news and upset of the past week has been the earthquake that hit Haiti. As soon as we hear the number "200,000 presumed dead" we jump start into action. Also as soon as we hear the amount of people hit by it's destruction we begin praying and we still move quickly to find a solution. But some things come about before there is even a hint of destruction...a simple plan to do good in the world.

Here at MACU we had planned food packaging for Haiti well in advance of this earthquake, just to help the hungry people of the nation. Then a week before this event happened we heard the devastating news that our brothers and sisters had been hit severely with this disaster. This changed our perspective on the whole packaging food for the hungry, this meant that in God's time we were unknowingly about to help in a huge way, that we never thought in the weeks prior. This was a big lesson to me because it showed me the perfection of God's timing, and not our own.

So many times I get caught up in my plan that I forget about God's, but the event that we put on in the perfect timing of the disaster brought me to a whole new outlook on "my plan." Simply, it doesn't work anywhere near how it could if I would just let God take the reigns. Haiti needed us more than we ever knew, but God knew why they needed us much more severely than we thought. 61,000 meals for Haiti.....in 6 hours, this means that we were pumping out a little over 1,016 meals per hour. The whole time I was serving in that meal line I thought "why don't I do this everyday?" It feels so good to help others even those who you may never know until the Lord returns.

A life in God's time is well spent, and I strive to let the Lord do what he must in my life in His time.

Peace.

Excitement and fear

So today started two of my three missions classes. I love missions classes, obviously because I want to be a missionary, but especially now, especially since I'm getting closer to their reality. Soon they won't just be classes they will be my life. Ever wish someone gave you the handbook to this life? Well this is how I view these classes, pieces of the handbook for the rest of my life, although they don't hold all the answers, they are wonderful tools for the future.

In Missionary Life and Work, we answered questions about being a missionary. These questions made me think about this summer. Going to Bosnia this summer raises a lot of fears, excitement, and uncertainty, but excitement is the most prevalent among them all. My fears are finances, and how effective I will be when I get there. My excitements are the things I will learn there, How much it will strengthen my relationship with God, and more than anything the people who will come to know Christ. Also, beginning to love these people with a new love as a brother or sister in Christ. I guess uncertainties fall in the category between fear and excitement.

So although I am afraid of my deadlines and the fact that it is a lot of money, I know God has already paved the way for me. I am glad I have the excitement that I do, I think it trumps my fear. So here's to walking by faith, and not letting my silly eyes take a peek of the footsteps I take.

Peace.

Where You Meet Me

I've been thinking a lot about "meeting God." Although we as humans can't meet God face to face, we can meet God. God is omnipresent but there are times when we need to be met intimately by God and be fully ready to meet Him there also. To me it's a time where we completely surrender our entire selves to just be in His glory.

I mean think about it, we meet our friends and we are completely absorbed in the activities they want to do or the conversations you become a part of. Watching TV you sit quietly waiting for the next event to occur on your favorite show, completely enticed by the drama or the action. Why can't we be completely absorbed in our conversations with God or the activities He wants to do through us? Why can't we sit quietly on the edge of our seats waiting for the next big event that God has planned for us?

He meets us everywhere, He meets us in our success, our happiness, our boredom, our anxiousness, our breaking, our sadness, EVERYWHERE. A lot of the time we do not notice where he meets us because we are so aware of where the world meets us we sometimes don't notice that God is trying to meet us there. Some of the best moments of my life were when I met God where He wanted me to meet Him. But more often than not there are so many times where I don't realize that He wants me to meet Him.

I want to meet God where He wants me too, specially in ministry it is so important. So here's to meeting God...no matter where it may be.

Peace.

The rest of the verdict.

In the event of learning that I am going to Bosnia, after a few days of waiting, I've found out what I will be doing. I don't know in detail but I know the general aspect of what I will do. It said that I should expect to work with teaching people English, humanitarian aid, and sports camp. I am extremely excited about all of the above.

I've done two out of the three. I've helped teach people English and usually they are very interested in it and enthusiastic about it. It's really sweet when you see people so engaged in what they want to learn and they are so passionate about it even if it is something like learning English. It's such a way to build relationships and friendships.

I have worked at a sports camp at a YMCA and I did get some joy out of it. When you are actually playing with the kids and not babysitting them it is an awesome job. So sports camp abroad...yes please. A fantastic way to see what kids are interested in "across the pond" and build relationships with them and see their potential and drive. With sports camp you never know who you will influence either good or bad. You never know who you will inspire with just a little optimism.

The one I haven't done much with is humanitarian aid. I know right? sad but true. I am thoroughly excited about it. There is so much we could do that I have no idea what they plan to let us do. I so excited to see people in need and actually do more than normal or anything at all! I'm excited about it all and I know it may a roller coaster of emotions trying to raise the money and actually getting there and going through everything, but if it's meant to be and I believe it is then it is so incredibly worth it.

Also things like language learning and relationship building will happen but thats general things that any missionary long or short term needs to do. I have always been interested in learning different languages and hopefully I'll know how to sustain a full conversation in that language by the end of it.

All of this will take a lot of prayer and preparation all of which I am willing to do.

Woop!

Peace.

Stories told of old

Tonight at the youth group service we read and talked about Samson. I like this story I think it is definately one of the greats. Samson's mother was one of the five women to whom an angel of God appeared to tell them who were barren that they would conceive a child. Before I go any further, I think that that is awesome. I mean obviously you would be a woman pleasing to God so you are chosen to carry such a gift that would impact the world in His name.

I like this story because it shows so much how God is above the worldly law and he always will be. Samson did not really adhere to the Nazirite law, he touched a dead being, he married outside of the Nazirites. However it does say that he married outside of his people which was in accordance with what God had planned. This is a very good view of how God is under no rule and only His people are to be ruled in accordance of the Father. I love this, and under the new covenant the law is inside of us, it is our morality, it is our right from wrong. God is the ruler of all things and no law is greater than Him, and how could it be? He made the people who gave the laws to the people!

Also, tonight my sister Annie read a story out of a Max Lucado book. Fictional as it was, it seemed like it could've happed. It was about what "happened" in heaven just before Jesus was conceived. It was from the perspective of Gabriel. Gabriel had been called into the throne room where God was and he shielded himself with his wings because of the immaculate light that shone around Him. God then spoke to Gabriel and he told him to take what was in his hand and put it around his neck. It dangled from His hand and it was a vile connected to a necklace. Gabriel placed it around his neck, and soon after Gabriel heard a voice behind him that made him stiffen. He turned and he saw it was Lucifer. Lucifer spoke to God and said, "and what are you planning to send to earth this time?" in a snide tone. God spoke and said, "I am sending the second gift."Satan then retorted, "Another gift? I remember the first one quite well and I was well pleased in it. I overturn everything you do! When Eve was given the choice between you and me she plucked the fruit from the tree. I was there when David watched Bathsheba bathing! Everything you send out I overturn!" Then God's voice thundered and said, "These are my CHILDREN you speak of!" Satan then said, "So what do you intend to do? You would not go so far." God continued, "I will become flesh, I will feel what my creatures feel, I will see what they see, I will become one of them. For sin I will bring forgiveness, for death I will give them LIFE!" Then Satan cocked his head to the side, a bit slouched over and somewhat defeated. He straightened up, which was his prideful way and stretched out his bony, withered wings and went away.

Now again this is fictional and definately not word for word, and it is missing some details but this is the gist. God defends us from evil, and I thought it was pretty cool when the story says that God says, "These are my CHILDREN you speak of!" It's like he was on the verge of giving Satan a verbal beat down.

So God defends us from evil, and no law limits God. Thats pretty cool.

Peace.

The verdict is in!

I know where I'm going this summer for my internship. I'm going to Bosnia. I'm still processing the fact that in about five months I will be boarding a plane to go on my first missions trip overseas to Bosnia. Never did Bosnia ever cross my mind as a place to go to be a missionary, but I'm so excited!

I really feel like this is going to be an experience, I've never done anything like this before. Though I'm really nervous about raising the money, actually going, getting around ok and not offending anyone of another culture, I know everything will work out like it should. I know that God is in control of everything and I have to let go of my control.

I don't know what I'll be doing yet, but whatever it is I'm sure it'll be sweet. I'll know more about that soon. It's almost time to start raising support, which is another step closer to this journey and another step closer to doing this for the rest of my life. It's going to be an interesting road to travel, glad I don't have to travel it alone.

Peace.