I've been thinking a lot about what a "radical" Christian looks like. Radical as in, radical in faith, and love, truth, boldness, courage, bearing burdens, lightening the yoke. I've thought about what it is to be radical in this world as a follower of Jesus, to deny myself of myself, to put away crude humor and step away from thinking that it's ok. Taking the time to evaluate the motives I have behind doing certain things, thinking certain things, and saying certain things that I have deemed good...yet not righteous....but good, just above where the line is drawn.
And I'm overwhelmed......
My selfishness wants to watch movies that are funny and humorous, that seem to be "not the worst" because there was no nudity or anything physically sexual happening on screen. But the crudeness is what can slither in and take hold. How is crudeness and laugh-ability in any way glorifying God when it makes me cynical.
My selfishness also wants to laugh at crude jokes on the internet, view "comical" videos that aren't joyful in any way or making me think good thoughts by the end. If it doesn't edify then why do I identify? (See what I did there?) BECAUSE....like many, I am self-conscious and figuring out this life that I live, and how I can live it better all the while knowing that there should be no "holier than thou" speak to pass through my lips!
It's easier for me to go through life looking like everyone else, rather than going through this life looking like a scar-filled messed up person who is doing something about the mess that she has acquired for herself because she knows that Jesus has done the impossible to make her life impossibly shine so bright before mankind. (Terribly long sentence, English majors...shun me now).
I cannot follow my heart...it will lead me to destruction. My heart is simply an organ, one that humans have used as the access point of love and the way to the "narrow path" but you know...I'm not believing this is so anymore. Being radical in love, faith, truth, bearing a load, taking up the cross, etc., comes from relying HEAVILY on the Holy Spirit. My heart can only lead me to selfishness and desires that remain in this fleshy form, because..it is flesh.
My God, my Father, my King, is the only being that can lead myself to radically loving him and loving others without fail. But he knows that failure is inevitable in this tiny form I am currently in, this, my friends is why he has promised us guidance through his Spirit and this is what we can and do miss on a DAILY basis. I find this ridiculous, the Holy Spirit, this divine Spirit of God, in turn, simply God himself saying "ask for me, I will lead you into places unknown and make you a beacon for my glory everyday." THIS IS PHENOMENAL.
I'm baffled by how lazy I am in the Spirit. I'm baffled by the love that surrounds me in this divine measure. I'm baffled that He hasn't given up on me. I'm baffled that because of me, many who have rejected God, never knew him, or have strange concepts of God STILL DON'T KNOW HIM like I do. Like many do.
I love him, and I love who he loves. Do my actions show it? Does my life reflect it? Have I been poisoned by media, and materialism, and keeping my life so much that I have no room for the Spirit to lead me to be drenched in pursuing his Kingdom for the Kingdom no matter what?
There's no time to lose in correcting my mind, strengthening the soul through God. I am built for service, may it ever be so.
All to God
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