The Future is a Gift

There is a lot going on these days, and I don't mean finding the best deals for Christmas gifts. There is an overwhelming list that must get done before I start my apprenticeship. Of course, I panicked a little, thinking of how little time I have, almost as if the walls were closing in. I am an extremely visual person, and I don't mean I can scroll down the screen of my computer and view all the things I have to do with ease.

NO.

I have to print them out, spread them out, and see it all out in front of me. Otherwise my brain feels like it will  swell and start oozing out of my ears. I'm talking highlighters, red pens, thumb tacks, and dry-erase boards. You can certainly believe I care a whole flippin' lot about this apprenticeship, and that deep inside I feel that this will lead me into a long term pursuit of bringing Christ to the Christ-less in this land.

Even though the list gets long and daunting and there is waiting..waiting..........waiting, the moment that green light turns on all of the preparation will be worth it. This part is the hardest part with the lists and the fund-raising, and the budgets, and all the other things that go along with the prep-work. It's the foundation on which the future can flourish.

Going through all of this has truly shown me that questions can be asked (I've asked quite a bit of them), things I had felt self-conscious about can be done, and that God wants me to feel out the process and understand the aspects of this journey he has sent me on.

So, yes, there are little sparks of panic that pierce through my guts every so often, but I am reassured the God is the author of this life of mine. Though my life may be like those "choose your own ending" books that were so popular in the 90's (or earlier as well) because of free-will, I know what I have surrendered. I surrendered my own understanding.

I'm excited about the future, but the future is a gift made only by how faithful you are to what God has you doing here and now.

All to God.