different things

It's that time of the week again. Ok so here's the deal, I have been a bit late in calling churches and this is something that next time I am raising support I WILL NOT hesitate on no matter how busy I get. I called all the churches and only one picked up the phone, and they said that they were not funding anymore mission efforts because they were raising money themselves to build a new building. Which for a slight second a thought crossed my mind of judgement but immediately I told myself that I do not know their situation who am I to judge them when I don't even know all the details.

Soon I will be asking my home church could I speak at some service to present myself and my passion. My church knows I am a mission major and they are glad of that but they haven't really had the chance to feel my passion and I am saddened by this. I have such a passion for missions and my own church hasn't felt that yet within me. It is my fault really, but I aim to correct that.

So I got my weekly finance report from Team Expansion again this week and I saw $30.00. Praise! It's only thirty bucks but that is thirty dollars the Lord has provided me with! He opened the heart of the giver and that is a blessing in itself. I have had a lot of givers and partners raise their heads and for them and those praying I am eternally grateful. I still have a long ways to go in raising funds for this mission but God is on His throne and this means that I am being well looked after. Praise Him!

All to God.

people are amazing

This journey, my first fundraising experience, is becoming more encouraging. In the past few weeks I have been worried about raising this money. I mean it's the middle of February, my first due day is only a little over a month away, no responses, no one really seeming interested. This made me become a little disheartened by the lack of enthusiasm, then I couldn't count myself out of the equation.

I felt lacking in spreading the news, in asking and all that because honestly I was afraid. I didn't want to ask people for money, it's their money, I didn't earn it. I kept hearing people say, well it's God's money people shouldn't feel threatened when you ask them. This is so very true. I kept getting weekly financial reports from Team Expansion (the organization I am going through with this internship) and found this: $0.00. So much for feeling encouraged, I prayed and still do pray to God that He will open up His servants hearts so that they might see the need.

God comes through, He does, and with what I've seen, and even though I haven't reached my goal I catch glimpses of light. In the last couple of weeks there were a few individuals that God opened their hearts. These individuals I don't know very well which makes God even more awesome. He is showing me slowly that I do have to have faith in people, of course not nearly as much as I should in Him but these are His people so who am I not to have faith in them?

They have inspired me, that when I am in any position to give to a missionary "in training" financial support then I should. I am also one of His people so I do not exclude myself from the opportunity, if not the privilege to give to someone who will do the Lord's work. My God is a fantastic God and His people are indeed made in His image. They will go with me to Eastern Europe, they will be with me when I see things I've never seen, when I witness things I never thought I would, when I minister to those who are in need. My appreciation cannot be expressed through words.

All to God.

blindly walking

So far in my journey into this summer I have tried some tactics to raise money. It is becoming more and more evident that God's people are better than baking stuff and selling them and making profit. Of course I knew this before, it is just so much more clear than when you just think about it. I haven't spoken in any churches, I haven't presented myself. I've sent letters and no responses, however this would worry me but in all honesty I'm not freaking out like I thought I would by this time with no responses. My mom is a wonderful woman, she is helping me by taking stuff to her work to sell, though it doesn't make an outrageous amount I'm still appreciative of her time and effort and what it does bring in. She is most definitely a child of God.

However I haven't heard much from churches, but I understand the process of board meetings and things. Once a month doesn't move very fast, although I do feel an urgency I have a feeling that God is going to show me something spectacular out of his people and their willing hearts. I have been thinking a lot about faith for the past couple of weeks. I have evaluated my level of faith and have decided I need a boost. I am striving to come to the point where I can fully walk by faith, and not look where I take my next step.

I learned this while duck hunting with my brother-in-law one very cold morning at about 4:30 am; When you step into the swamp you have to feel underneath your foot to decipher whether you will hit a log that will make you stumble and fall deeper into the swamp. Each step you take could send you into the murky depths of the swamp, cold and wet, oh yeah and miserable. The swamp at 5 am is not a very bright place so you are literally walking by faith with a little caution tagging along. Although you do have a fancy little light that is strapped around your head, believe me it's not much of a huge help.

The worst thing is being wet and cold, my sister Annie always says that her hell can't be made of fire, it has to be cold (she absolutely can't stand the cold). But this trip in retrospect was a great teacher of walking by faith and not by sight and having Christ guide you. Now I am going to compare my brother-in-law to Christ in this situation because he led me along watching after me so that I wouldn't fall. At odd moments I would hear him say "now watch out there is a big log here that your gonna have to step over and it's loose so be careful." Without him guiding me I would've been head deep in that swamp within minutes of stepping in.

I want that kind of faith in this mission. Every aspect I want to be faithful in God to provide as I work in doing my part. It is a little stressful but I know that if I have that faith then why worry? God says He knows our needs and he will provide for us. God is pretty amazing when we see what He can do, but even without that tangible evidence he is still pretty amazing.

All to you God.

Searching

I'm searching out my life. That's a weird statement to make but it's the honest truth. I think it's the best thing to do right now because of my missions trip coming up. Yes I'm totally excited about it but I understand the seriousness that comes with it, excitement can't overtake the importance of this summer.

The last blog I wrote I spoke about how impeccable God's timing was and is. Since that event happened I have been thinking a lot about God's timing in my life, not just His timing but His will. I've been digging deep into some harsh realities of my life. The fact that my service hasn't been all that great, I have been feeling an overwhelming pull to just serve. Serve unconditionally and happily. Also I have realized that missions is the right way to go, but I cannot even be in control of that. That is why I'm so stoked to go to Bosnia, I didn't choose it. I've been praying a lot about this because I'm very tired of living a life where I even want to be a little bit in control. This word CONTROL is such a huge factor in life that it completely constricts us. Control gives us fear and anxiety, I would rather give it to God.

I'm excited that missions is my life and that I feel that I have confirmation on that. This is one thing I'm sure of, and that is comforting. The Word must be my anchor, the will must be God's. I love God because He loved me first. My hope is that God will use me only for His will. I am excited to become the missionary that God will form me to be.

Peace.

Not our timing

The news and upset of the past week has been the earthquake that hit Haiti. As soon as we hear the number "200,000 presumed dead" we jump start into action. Also as soon as we hear the amount of people hit by it's destruction we begin praying and we still move quickly to find a solution. But some things come about before there is even a hint of destruction...a simple plan to do good in the world.

Here at MACU we had planned food packaging for Haiti well in advance of this earthquake, just to help the hungry people of the nation. Then a week before this event happened we heard the devastating news that our brothers and sisters had been hit severely with this disaster. This changed our perspective on the whole packaging food for the hungry, this meant that in God's time we were unknowingly about to help in a huge way, that we never thought in the weeks prior. This was a big lesson to me because it showed me the perfection of God's timing, and not our own.

So many times I get caught up in my plan that I forget about God's, but the event that we put on in the perfect timing of the disaster brought me to a whole new outlook on "my plan." Simply, it doesn't work anywhere near how it could if I would just let God take the reigns. Haiti needed us more than we ever knew, but God knew why they needed us much more severely than we thought. 61,000 meals for Haiti.....in 6 hours, this means that we were pumping out a little over 1,016 meals per hour. The whole time I was serving in that meal line I thought "why don't I do this everyday?" It feels so good to help others even those who you may never know until the Lord returns.

A life in God's time is well spent, and I strive to let the Lord do what he must in my life in His time.

Peace.

Excitement and fear

So today started two of my three missions classes. I love missions classes, obviously because I want to be a missionary, but especially now, especially since I'm getting closer to their reality. Soon they won't just be classes they will be my life. Ever wish someone gave you the handbook to this life? Well this is how I view these classes, pieces of the handbook for the rest of my life, although they don't hold all the answers, they are wonderful tools for the future.

In Missionary Life and Work, we answered questions about being a missionary. These questions made me think about this summer. Going to Bosnia this summer raises a lot of fears, excitement, and uncertainty, but excitement is the most prevalent among them all. My fears are finances, and how effective I will be when I get there. My excitements are the things I will learn there, How much it will strengthen my relationship with God, and more than anything the people who will come to know Christ. Also, beginning to love these people with a new love as a brother or sister in Christ. I guess uncertainties fall in the category between fear and excitement.

So although I am afraid of my deadlines and the fact that it is a lot of money, I know God has already paved the way for me. I am glad I have the excitement that I do, I think it trumps my fear. So here's to walking by faith, and not letting my silly eyes take a peek of the footsteps I take.

Peace.

Where You Meet Me

I've been thinking a lot about "meeting God." Although we as humans can't meet God face to face, we can meet God. God is omnipresent but there are times when we need to be met intimately by God and be fully ready to meet Him there also. To me it's a time where we completely surrender our entire selves to just be in His glory.

I mean think about it, we meet our friends and we are completely absorbed in the activities they want to do or the conversations you become a part of. Watching TV you sit quietly waiting for the next event to occur on your favorite show, completely enticed by the drama or the action. Why can't we be completely absorbed in our conversations with God or the activities He wants to do through us? Why can't we sit quietly on the edge of our seats waiting for the next big event that God has planned for us?

He meets us everywhere, He meets us in our success, our happiness, our boredom, our anxiousness, our breaking, our sadness, EVERYWHERE. A lot of the time we do not notice where he meets us because we are so aware of where the world meets us we sometimes don't notice that God is trying to meet us there. Some of the best moments of my life were when I met God where He wanted me to meet Him. But more often than not there are so many times where I don't realize that He wants me to meet Him.

I want to meet God where He wants me too, specially in ministry it is so important. So here's to meeting God...no matter where it may be.

Peace.