Ready and Willing

As of now there are only 6 weeks left until all things are a-go! I hate airports but I am so excited to be sitting on a plane en-route to my destination for the summer. But before this adventure ensues many things are afoot. Weddings to be in, finals to finally finalize, A junior year of college to bid adieu, and other little loose ends that are not really tied until the very hour I step foot in the airport.

It's starting to be a crazy life I lead the closer I get to graduating from here. The closer I get to a life completely focused on ministry the more I feel the pressure and the will to grow up.

Call it my internal clock ticking away.


The more I have the will to grow up, the more giddy (the irony of it all!) I get when I envision future opportunities to share Christ in the world. Apparently we never stop being  a child of God, even when we are to be adults in this world.

Anyway, in all of this growing up there are things I am not to giddy about, like my uncertain future financially.
But Emilie, missionaries give their financial troubles to God.
While this is true and missionaries as well as any Christian should give financial anxiety up to God, we are to be responsible and proactive as well. Never should we sit on our bums waiting for God to miraculously shower down hundred dollar bills like manna from the sky.

I think debt is the leading cause of anxiety attacks in the U.S., ok maybe that's something I just made up. So on my free time, ahem..when I make free time (procrastination sometimes counts as free time), I am researching things for my future financial situation.

But for now I am praising God that he has brought me through my current needs financially. He has met me in my needs many times, not just financially but in every aspect, and he will be with me as I step foot on the plane.

All to God

I died

Today I was born. No it's not my birthday, I did not exit the womb today, but it is my birthday indeed. The irony of it is, it is also the day I died.

Yep, I died

About 11 years ago, Easter Sunday, I was baptized into Christ. I went to give my confession of faith the Sunday night before Easter and waited until the following Sunday. Every Easter I remember my baptism and what a great thing it is to equate my point of salvation because of what Christ did, all the while observing the risen Savior all at the same time. 

So I went down under the water, into the grave as I was to do before I made the decision to allow Christ to be my King (I never really doubted that he was!). But then I rose, just like my Savior (minus the resurrection body...one day!), renewed and overcome, and the Spirit has been dwelling in me ever since. Even as young as I was and even through all the ridiculous things I did as a teenager, I remember being dormant in spirit. 

One day I recognized this dormancy, I realized the kind of vigor everyone else had. I decided that this Jesus person that I've heard about all my life is the one who can save my life. Pretty mature huh? Nope. At eight years old I saw my best friend get baptized at the church she was attending at the time and after the service I broke down. I cried, I was telling my mom that I wanted to be baptized, that I had heard about Jesus from her all this time and never decided to do this, I told her it was time.

But, it wasn't time.

I can remember that for two years afterward (and some of you will think I'm exaggerating) I never heard the invitation given at church. My mom would ask me, "Emilie why didn't you go up today?" My confused reply would always be "I didn't hear him (the preacher) say it!". Call it a small child's A.D.D., call it providence, nonetheless, I never heard it. Until one fine Sunday evening. 

I was looking down at my hands, and it was like nothing else from the sermon that night had resonated. But I heard the invitation, I heard him give the invitation and as we were singing the hymn of invitation I told my  mom simply "let me out". I gave my confession and the next Sunday I was baptized. It wasn't until later that I remembered that it was actually Easter. 

So I died with Christ, and I was raised with him, on a day much like today, on a holiday that observes his resurrection. I'm so glad God opened my ears that evening at church or this woman that you know, or read about, would not be the same person, I doubt I would know you at all had Christ not been put in my path. 

Get up and open your ears, let the invitation be heard. Christ is risen and waiting, no bones bear witness to his still being dead, their is no tomb as empty as his. Happy Easter.

All to God

Outlets that shine the Image of God

There are times when I could write and write and go on writing without really saying much. There are time I want to write a blog post but restrain myself because there is no real inspiration, no topic I am eager to discuss, I just want to write. Writing has always been an outlet for me, there was one point in my life where I seriously considered becoming a writer and publishing books of my own. Although I was also planning to write fictional books, I still had a story to tell made up in my little noggin, waiting to be either acted out in "play pretend" or written down. 

Through time, poetry became the way I used my writing outlet. I could write how I wanted outside of school, no need for things like pentameters and how many syllables one line had. I could freely let my mind connect with my hand and the words would flow out and by the end of it I could sigh relief. 

In the end no one could tell,

This little girl had written down

All her anger, happiness, and strife.

When she laid down the pen

She made much sense of this thing called life.

Much of the time now when I write as you, my lovely reader, have observed, is about God and how he is blessing me, teaching me, or just moving in my life. He has given me a will to write, he has shown me where to put my energy if there is something upsetting my mind, it's like a key to the floodgates; so simple, yet withholds enormous results. 

What (positive) outlet has God blessed you with so that you might honor him? What emotions stir when you use it in the right ways? Do you ever just thank him for this gift of release? Isn't it a beautiful thing that the Creator knew that we would need these things thus creating in us the need to express ourselves in these ways?  He is a God of expression, and he is very creative in expressing himself through different avenues, it's no wonder we are all so different in our abilities to express, our Image of God shines through.

All to God

Come Thou Fount

I have a few moments before class, when I say a few, I mean a few. However I just wanted to express my overwhelming gratitude for God's blessings and his always refreshing seasonal differences we have the privilege to experience.

Today it is almost 90 degrees out there it's looking to be a scorching summer and it's beautiful. Winter has melted away (at least down here in the south) it's frigid cold, and the beautiful snow is no more. I look across from the library window and the flags of the nations that missionaries are serving in are waving in the breeze. Almost in unison they sway together, and it reminds me of my purpose.

My God has given me significant moments of AHA! In confirming my passion and my "calling" if you would. He has blessed me with people who are willing to serve and sacrifice time and money in my efforts to further the conviction I have to take the Word into the world.

He has reminded me that he is greater than money

He has said to me "money is no object, only work, wait, and see"

And I have given this anxiety to my Master

I have a support system that is beyond compare when it comes to friends, family, and even professors, they have given me the confidence to go without fear. I am blessed beyond measure, and I wish that, at times, I wouldn't take that for granted. 

For he knows the plans he has for us...

All to God

Almost out of breath, but not quite

Today I woke up to a very optimistic text message that read "43 DAYS TILL BOSNIA!" needless to say that's a good way to start a day, realizing what you've been working for is close at hand. In light of that beautiful start to my day, I must say, today was daunting.

It wasn't a rushed day, nor a nerve-racking day, but it was task-full. The irony of it is all I did was sit in a chair all day and write a paper.

All I did was sit.

Well of course the fact that I had to do this paper all day was inevitably my own way of being a masochist, and the weapon is procrastination. All. My. Fault. There were times of elation and times of discouragement, it's much like an emotional roller coaster when one writes a paper for more that twelve hours straight. 

But Alas! The deed is done, the beast is slain, and for the night I can sleep soundly knowing that it is saved twice! And tomorrow, before an afternoon leading into an evening of classes I will be in the process of slaying another beast, then another, then another, and so goes my week. 

Now that I am physically, and mentally wiped it's due time I fall asleep, to wake up knowing that it'll be 42 DAYS TILL BOSNIA! Maybe daydream about it a little and then hop to it, trying to finish out a semester strong is always a lung-twisting, gut-wrenching, leg-wobbling sprint to the finish line. But there's always a bright side... 42 days 42 days 42 days!

All to God

Shadows: The Light

The last two little posts about shadows have dealt with the object that comes between a person and the light in which casts a shadow. Also, there were dealings with the shadow itself, now onto the third and last installment of this mini-series. However if you have not read the others (not that it's a flowing series where you need one to know the other) I encourage you to go........read!

The source of shadows is a blocking of light by something. I feel it necessary (devotionally speaking, as most of these posts are) to deal with the lighter side of the subject. No really, I want to talk about the light. If there is a shadow, there is light on the other side of it. There is a pure source of light, the warming, vitamin giving, richness of the sun.

We need the light, no matter how you interpret that saying. The sun for health, Jesus for healing and restoration. Well obviously you all know the path I'm going to take, that's right, Sunday school answer everyone, say it with me JESUS.

Christian or non-Christian we all can use this analogy. Christians have sin in their lives that they are struggling with, that nags inside of them each time they succumb to it's dreary oppression. Whatever that is could be the object that casts it's shadow on a person, but bear in mind there must be light on the other side. Non-Christians have things to the same effect, they have sin, they might not recognize that sin, they may not even believe in sin, but it could be the object blocking them from the Son.

The light is something we should strive to get too. The hard part about it is this object that blocks it out, we cannot detour around it, there is no avoiding it. We must go through it. We must persevere, as painful as it may seem, the light it so worth it. Fighting through the shadow and the object that casts the shadow is a part of becoming stronger.

It is how we become transformed into stronger creations in Christ.

The light is on the other side of the thing that stands in the way of it, we just have to be willing to overcome it and reach the light. The light I'm alluding to is Jesus, we all need him, we all need to live in the light of his sacrifice without hindrance. 

All to God

Shadows: The Shadow That's Cast

Part two of this little "Shadows Mini-series". In the first of this topic of shadows we discussed the object that casts the shadow, if you are unaware of what I am speaking of please go..read!

When it is a day where the skies are overcast, and the only light on the earth is what is reflected through the clouds, we tend to prefer the sunny days. The days where the sky is blue, colors are bold, and the sun sits high in the sky. For a lot of us when clouds overtake the sky and rain is coming, our bodies can actually feel the impending weather. Joints may ache, and depending on the seasons allergies might become more significant or what have you.

I know for my father for one reason or another when there is rainy or bad weather it shuts him down completely.  Pain in his joints, sinus headaches and just lack of motivation for anything.

Whenever shadows are cast on us (devotionally speaking) it can be debilitating. We can feel the slight drop in temperature and we can see the level of darkness elevating, it can be felt in our joints, put pressure in our heads and an overall sense of lack of motivation. When the shadow is cast on us by the object that keeps the light at bay we are found weak and suppressed.

Any hint of light makes us scramble there, any false illuminations can build us up but only for a time, and after that time it only makes the shadow that much greater. The shadow that is cast is great, the object is sturdy and unwilling to move.

What of hope? Why does the shadow seem larger than anything ever known? We must remember that the shadow we face is only temporary, whatever the shadow might be cast off of is as well. There is hope, and there is something bigger than any shadow ever created.

All to God

Shadows: The Object

We all cast shadows when Mr. Sun pops his head out from behind the clouds. Shadows are caused by an object blocking out light, thus casting dark spots. It's not something we control, not something preferred or not preferred, many times we don't really care if we cast shadows. It means nothing for us in our day to day lives. We cast shadows. No big deal.

I'm not suggesting we should all contract phobias of casting shadows What I'm saying is there is devotional thought in casting shadows.

Well there obviously has to be an object between the light or the sun and whatever the shadow will be cast on. Anything could be the object; sin, a certain sin, troubled mind or heart, even yourself. The object is whatever cast this ominous shadow. The object is the blocker of light, the interruption of the passage of light.

Have you ever been to the beach and you're laying on your towel soaking in the sun into your winter worn, ghostly pale skin and someone decides to take what seems like eighty pictures of the sea right in front of where you are trying to attain that golden tan? The shadow of said person is cast on you, making your spot not only significantly darker, but actually a bit colder, and all the more uncomfortable for you.

The object that creates the shadow is sometimes not a very pleasant object. Most people enjoy having the warm sun on our skin, and when that's interrupted by a shadow, unwanted, and uncalled for, it is not the most joyous of things.

There is always that lovely spot in the prayer "though I walk through valley of the SHADOW of death" something is high above the valley blocking out the sun. All we can do is walk through it. Shadows have often taken an eerie and almost negative connotation. What object is blocking the light for you? What is keeping you from feeling the warmth of the sun it steals from you?

What is blocking you from the Son?

All to God

Laying down childish things

When we are but wee children we have dreams that in our little worlds are too wonderful for even the adult to accomplish because of the degree of difficulty it entails. We dream of flying and riding on the massive neck of a Brontosaurus (ok so when I was a kid I loved dinosaurs). These are happy dreams and not very attainable, but really fun to close your eyes and vividly capture the moment this dream comes true.

Paul writes to the Corinthians:

"When I was a child, I spoke as a child, I understood as a child, I thought as a child; but when I became a man I put away childish things." 1 Corinthians 13:11

Our dreams are the same way. When we were children we dreamed like children, envisioning that big friend of ours Mr. Bronto letting his head down so we could hop on and go for a ride. We dreamed of leaping into the air and the wind catching us so as to be in flight. We took shovels to the ground determined to get to China. Our dreams were unattainable, imaginative, pictures and playful things in our minds that God blessed us with, and for a time we were content with pretending these things could come true.

But as Paul writes "but when I became a man I put away childish things." We put away childish dreams and replace them with attainable, goal oriented dreams that can become a reality if we only work hard enough at them.

That's where I'm at big time in my life, as are most of my peers. Working hard at an attainable dream that has a very major, Kingdom furthering goal. There is almost only and exact year left in my time here at college, and then like a blunt hit to the back of the head, it's really time to try and move forward in that dream.

All the while I have been learning about culture, how to institute the Gospel into a different culture efficiently. I have been taught what to expect when entering a new culture, what to look for within myself as far as culture shock. I've learned how to teach someone the Bible and what it means (although I, and no one, has all the answers). I've learned what to expect when learning a new language, I even experienced it a bit throughout my college career.

I've had to hop off the figurative neck of Mr. Bronto, and dive into the sea of the more satisfactory vision of my passion. God does some pretty incredible things when we lay down childish thoughts and understanding, even dreams, and focus our dreams on His will, fulfilling our passion in ways we couldn't comprehend.

But God is great in the imaginations he instills in us as children. Oh how it helps us later in life.

Sometimes, though, our dreams involve patience, as much as I am itching to get out on the field, as much as I am ready to get out of college. There is much to learn on this road we are now walking in our own prospective ways with the Lord.

All to God

Preparation: Bosnia

My second summer in Bosnia is drawing near! I cannot express how excited I am for a multiple of reasons. I have nothing to do now in preparation but wait, study language, and just get psyched for everything I know I will encounter and for those things that might not be expected.

I lied.


I have stuff to work on for preparation. I have a lot to do in preparation for this summer. Prayer and focus being what is needed the most. Praying FOR focus because my focus is being scattered among different responsibilities, and it can be really easy to put off something that's a month away. There is always a certain amount of spiritual warfare so strengthening my "spiritual arsenal" is never a bad idea (even among the home country). Even though that's not a long list, it's heavy stuff.

I am so thankful that I have been blessed with people who were so quick to support me in lots of ways, and very quickly, they made it possible for me to reach my financial goal.

It's been a little taxing, the things that have happened since January. Two of the three airports that I will be going to have had security upsets. This could be a blessing in disguise making security at those airports more efficient. I have prayed about these situations and I do have a peace about it. Also, the world in general with it's turmoil can get a bit disturbing, but let's be honest, the world has never been without it's turmoil, and God is still in control.

Among everything I am very excited that in a month and 29 days I will be journeying off to another little over two months trip to Bosnia and I cannot wait. There's lots God will teach me and I'm showing up for that class on time and eager to learn.

All to God

Lot's going on in the world

There's lots to be taking notice of these days. The world seems to be crumbling, literally, and figuratively. Humanity seems to hate one another more and more everyday.

In the words of JJ Heller:

When my world is shaking, Heaven stands.

But I see the love that people have for me and the love I have for other people, then to branch out more I feel the love I have for those who don't know Jesus. It's possible that there is no better time than now to tell people the Good News. Turmoil can be a time of revival, a time when people seek the Truth. It's our job to go let them know that there is a Truth.

As bad as things seem on the news, the stories I see, the top news, and words like "government shutdown", after all of this the Lord has reminded me that He is still God. He holds the world in the palm of his hand. We even had a heads up about the world's coming condition, our God is that good. He wouldn't let us go in blind.

He has given those who believe a stream of hope when all lights seem dim. There is hope and grace sufficient for all. I will trust in the Lord, and I will pray for the love of God to be shown to those who do not believe.

All to God