Colored squares on Times Square

I wrote down a wish. I wrote it down on a tiny piece of colored paper. A man told me that on New Year's night in Times Square the wish that I wished would be flung out into the street. This wish could possibly be picked up by someone who providentially needed the words on that tiny piece of colored paper, or it could be swept into the gutter never to be seen by another human eye.

Whatever the fate of this wish that was written down, I still wish it into existence. I still pray it into being and I know it has been communicated to God over and over again.

I hope someone found my wish, but even if it wasn't found, the most important One has heard it. I hope that all of my lovely readers have a wonderful outlook, and a phenomenal hope for this year already among us. Maybe more will come to see the face of the God who has given us the choice of salvation.

All to God

Novo Godina

Whoa, it's been far to long since I've written. I hope everyone had a very good Christmas and I hope you were blessed by love and family this year. Now a new year is upon us! The Mayan calendar dreaded 2012...how doomified.

Well, I think it's obvious I do not take the stance of the innovative Mayans, but I am looking at this upcoming year at more of an adult-like stance. My LAST semester of college is basically here, May will come quickly and then something will happen that has only been a dream until now; no more school. No more tests or homework or teachers expectations. After this anything that drives my ambition has got to be purely my own incentive. That's going to be a life change in itself for some things.

I will be paying most of my own bills after graduation, and most of you are saying "welcome to life you little kid you" but really, it's different, something new. So...don't judge :)

Next on the adult bill, I will be living somewhere other than a dorm room, without girls up and down the hall and lobbies where friends normally reside. I will have to get out and make friends in the new community that i will be a part of for the time I am there. To be honest, that kind of excites me.

Also, making arrangements for my year long stay overseas which takes a lot of figuring and doing. This is a piece of my "career," something I have been working up to for a long time and executing it has to happen sooner than later. Once the gears start moving, I hope all things will...as they say....work together for my good.

Please be in prayer for all of this but specifically this last thing I mentioned it is definitely still in the works and need to be drenched with prayer. Thanks you guys.

So there are my adult happenings in the near future, Happy New Year everyone! May God work through His workers this year to bring more to Him!

All to God

Our gift for granted

Sometimes I realize just how much I take for granted. I realize how much I take my family for granted, my schooling, my health, my very being, and even my salvation. I understand that the junk I eat goes through my body and is just that, junk. I know that my family is not immortal, and any time I get to spend with them is valuable. It is in my brain that my body is a temple and there is so much more I could be doing to care for it. I realize that what Christ did for me on the cross was the most phenomenal gift that I didn't deserve and that I should do everything I can to help people receive that gift too.

It amazes me that some people do more with no legs, arms, eyes, and other commodities than I have done with the life I've been given. It sickens me to realize that sometimes I truly believe I can't do something with what I've been given and this is absolutely

sick.

I'm not invincible, this is not the point I am trying to prove, but if you sometimes think this way as I do then we have been intoxicated with a lie. I would like to say I will take a stand and always be glad for what I have, but lets face it...we are human....and we are selfish. We feel like there has been some cause and effect fallacy here and it is beyond our means to do what we have passions for or what we strive to accomplish, "If I was ___ then I could do _____", "If I had ______ then I could do _____." We aren't grateful. 

But there is this, we can try. We can wake up and be glad we have two legs to walk on, that we are free to worship the Rock of Ages, that we can walk into a college classroom and be educated. We can do these things and praise God that we are able, that we can, that it is possible, and that in any circumstance we can do what we deem impossible according to the bounds of what we think are our limits. Our capacity is more than we know, and it is God given.

All to God

Unless you have a graveyard shift...

There is this trickery that comes with Christmas break that comes for night-owls like myself. It happens quick and quite naturally. It is.....dun dun duhhhhh....

Staying up so late that you sleep so late the next day that this vicious cycle continues.

There are nights (much like this night that I am writing this post) that I try to go to sleep at night at a somewhat decent hour but somehow fail to do so, which makes an irritated Emilie. Irritated only because when I do try to sleep I can't, so yes I am the culprit of my very own demise. Then I wonder...how I do it at college. 8am classes and such, I mean I take naps like a kindergartener but I still manage to find sleep that night at a decent hour. It must be the lack of things that need to be accomplished.

So as break has just begun I wish to fill my days with things that will stimulate movement of not only the body but the mind as well, not just sit and watch TV all day. This cycle has already started and I refuse to let it take over my entire break. 

The beauty of Christmas break is that you don't have to do anything....the downfall of break is that you don't have to do anything. 

Though I am a night owl I do love the mornings, they can be the most beautiful time of day and I miss it to the extreme when this cycle begins. I don't have to do spectacular things, but I would like to challenge myself a little more than how many movies I can watch in a day. Sleep is necessary, staying up until the wee hours of the morning are not...especially when you have nothing to do. I would like to be awake most of the days of this break and letting sleep reign over the night, not the other way around.

Happy break everyone, and sleep well!

All to God

It's that time of year again (No I don't mean Christmas)

This upcoming week is the week most of us college students in this sort of exam week rotation come to loathe. It is a week we dread but look forward to the most at the end of each semester. Oh the irony.

It's in this time that we are allowed to become selfish with our time, even when we don't want to. But often times, (I being a part of the we), we can be selfish with our time to the point we forget to share any of it with God. I know this sermon has been preached in Bible colleges everywhere at the end of the semesters, but I would go even a step further.

We forget to give time to God with each other, in fellowship. I confess, I am not a part of any small group or any other group like this. Yes, there has been opportunity out there for this however, this semester has made me look at my computer for writing papers more than looking into the faces of the people I love. Especially now that I am at the very end of my hardest semester yet and I'm still not in the clear, and pressure is still on and pressing hard.

I think I will be led beside the still waters this break

It's on us all, and we understand each other's stress and craziness. We can alleviate, if only for a moment, one another's to-do list and put things into perspective. God has given us the privilege to learn the things we learn and be tested on the things we know. Some of the things we believe are worthless but required for our education can sneak up on you in the future and then you are glad you learned it. 

This is something I have to keep telling myself, although studying seems daunting and pressure is building, and sometimes there is just one grade that stands between you and whatever comes next, it's all worth it. So maybe sometimes we need to stop and focus together on what studying and test-taking really means. For Bible college students I press you more on this. Not because we are better than anyone else and their education, but because our education is linked to our entire way of being, and also because studying can make us grow weary of the Bible which should not be the case.

Let's encourage one another to love what we learn and grow in our knowledge together, and then when the test taking is over......rest. 

We should be a sanctuary for one another's stress, let's be comforters as well as motivators.

All to God

Schmutz

Have you ever had a day where you are so mad at yourself because of something you've done, or didn't do, or how hard you make things on yourself? Yeah I had one of those days this week. I've never been incredibly organized and sometimes that makes my life kinda hard. Not like a "woe is me" kind of hard, but a "why the heck do I do this?" kind of hard.

I've always wanted to be a reasonably organized person, I feel like that would have alleviated a few bumps in the road along the way. This is a pattern that can break, but I'm sure it would be a long process.

This past week there was  a day where my inability to be organized really hit me in the face. It was a very bad day emotionally, I prayed for God to give me peace in my heart about the situation at least for now because I have to get through the rest of this semester without collapsing. I prayed for two days about this peace, and that God would take away my anxiety.

For the past few days I've felt a peace about it. I am so glad that God answers prayer because if I had to go through feeling that bad for multiple days I think I would still have sad schmutz on me, hard to wash off. The schmutz of anxiety seems to stick around and that is something I do not have time for, not now.

Just have to keep pushing.

All to God