Schmutz

Have you ever had a day where you are so mad at yourself because of something you've done, or didn't do, or how hard you make things on yourself? Yeah I had one of those days this week. I've never been incredibly organized and sometimes that makes my life kinda hard. Not like a "woe is me" kind of hard, but a "why the heck do I do this?" kind of hard.

I've always wanted to be a reasonably organized person, I feel like that would have alleviated a few bumps in the road along the way. This is a pattern that can break, but I'm sure it would be a long process.

This past week there was  a day where my inability to be organized really hit me in the face. It was a very bad day emotionally, I prayed for God to give me peace in my heart about the situation at least for now because I have to get through the rest of this semester without collapsing. I prayed for two days about this peace, and that God would take away my anxiety.

For the past few days I've felt a peace about it. I am so glad that God answers prayer because if I had to go through feeling that bad for multiple days I think I would still have sad schmutz on me, hard to wash off. The schmutz of anxiety seems to stick around and that is something I do not have time for, not now.

Just have to keep pushing.

All to God