Into the Chasm

The past few days have been lazy days. As it goes in what I "do" it is fast-paced one moment and absolutely silent the next with maybe a few blips on the radar. I've done a lot of thinking these past few days, I've always wanted to be the kind of person that makes things happen, that isn't scared to take a chance, be bold and honest. Some days I feel like I am or can be that person, and other days I fear I can never be that person.

Then of course as the brain of a human female plummets into the depths of her own thoughts just by one single, simple thought, I spiral. Then, as it goes, I make things into a larger deal than it has to be pushing it outside the limits of actual reality almost to the point of life-altering. All of a sudden I'm exhausted from merely thinking, and so I come to the surface again where rational thought can sooth the torn and frayed thoughts that chose to bungee jump into that chasm of deep-thinking.

Where did I land on this subject? Well after a while of playing myself in Mortal Kombat I decided that I can be that person, all it takes is a little work. Even in a different culture I can be that person, even though the easiest of tasks can be a little intimidating. It takes knowing the fine line of humility and boldness of which I am constantly a student.

As of now, and having been working on this for many years, I am working on the haunting lie that I have told myself in times past that I am inadequate and the bigger, stronger, more faith-filled people are cut out for this thing I call ministry. They can be bolder, make more friends, learn the language easier, explain the faith better. But do you know what I've come to realize?

If this "line of work" waited for these imaginary people then we would fail.

We would fail the Gospel, we would fail the reason Jesus came, we would fail ourselves, and we would starve the Holy Spirit that makes us bold, faith-filled, and knowledgeable. Don't get me wrong, we fail all the time, but if we started waiting for perfection then none of us would see our potential in Christ. 

On my own...I am not adequate, I am terribly insufficient in spreading the Truth. But I know that I am not on my own, I have a Helper, and He is what allows me to be adequate and unafraid. 

Phew...so what am I getting at? I (and those like me) need to tell the liar that lives in the brain area to SHUT IT! Because there is a more reliable source, there is a more honorable being that tells us we have all we need and that is enough. Be bold, be strong, be humble, and make things happen!

Because in the right company...you can.

All to God