Oh the past...

So do you ever have those moments when you remember something you did in your past and have a gut wrenching embarrassment in the pit of your stomach even if nobody knows about it? Yeah, everybody has stuff they did that they are not proud of.

Sometimes we let it eat at us which furthers the embarrassment, even if that embarrassing memory lives only in your mind.

Then you think "Oh dear...yep, God knows about it." Then you start to feel unworthy and worse..worthless. Sometimes it can leave a pit in your stomach. Well, yeah, God knows about it...okay, so what do you do?

It's been a relief for me to actually acknowledge this thing that gnaws at me in His presence, such as in times of prayer. It's also a relief to me to see the cross that means forgiveness, but leave the foot of the cross and carry mine in a more righteous way as best I can.

I bring this up because sometimes conversations with friends are revealing. I write this in a very thankful mood. Thankful to know that other people aren't perfect either, and God still loves them too. Thankful for friends who don't expect judgement from me so I get no judgement from them. Thankful for Biblical characters who were real showing their embarrassing downfalls yet God still saw them as righteous such as David.

Whatever I've done, whatever you've done, chances are...it's not the first time a godly person has let themselves and God down in the way you have or I have. We are imperfect, it's not an excuse, but it is a reality.

We feel bad because we strive to be perfect in God's eyes

The truth is we WILL let God down, and the truth is he KNEW we would. The embarrassment we feel, the smallness we feel inside of ourselves, it serves it's purpose. For a time it keeps us humble, it keeps us down to earth. But sooner or later, life has to continue and these memories may be a part of your past but they don't have to be a part of your future. 

So basically....

A lot of us are in the same boat

Oh and one more thing, the word hypocrite is poison to your heart

Quite calling yourself that

God loves us, imperfections and all, which is one thing I love about God..among so many others. If we stand up straight and take on what we've done and decide to carry that cross a little more confidently understanding humility in our imperfection, we should not use the word hypocrite inside of ourselves. 

It's good to be in the same boat, it is certainly a way to get close to others.

All to God