God's grip

It's Sunday morning and as I sit on the couch waiting for 9:30 so I can go get dressed, thoughts from yesterday continue to linger. I don't think God is letting his grip on my mind get any looser. Ever since I had decided to become a missionary I had a sensitive spot in my heart for those in the world without Christ. Ever since, it's as if God keeps saying at the exact right times "See these faces who have not loved me, tell them about me, because I love them, and they keep dying and will never live with me."

I can't take it. It breaks my heart into pieces. Last night as I ate spaghetti for supper I could not help thinking about how the Japanese along the coasts are having to flee to gyms and other massive areas for food and water. I could only think about how Libya (if it already isn't) would be war torn, and food would be hard to come by. I sat there in my comfortable home, in a comfortable seat, with my hot spaghetti and cold tea, and could have just ignored the fact that suffering was happening but I couldn't.

I don't think God is going to let me be leisurely, I don't know that he wants me to lead the good life as people know it. Frankly I'm right there with him. I don't want those things, I've never been one to strive to be rich or want a huge house or anything like that, I don't care if I have to live in a grass hut as long as the Lord is working in my life and helping bring others to him.

God is good and he brings these things to our attention to keep us level, but sometimes I believe he brings these things to let us know about the urgency in our lives to show people Jesus. God brought my heart low to see and know about the catastrophe the world is in now (although its always been a catastrophe).

I want to go and let people know that they are loved instead of hated or ignored

I want them to know that God wants them to know that too

I want them to understand that they could live in peace one day

I want them to know Jesus

All to God