A rather significant confession

You know, when someone tells you that learning a new language is a humbling experience, I suppose you should listen. To know that the words that will come out of your mouth will sound foreign, weird, and sometimes downright wrong, can make one feel vulnerable and silly. To be around native people and to not be able to speak a word is humbling in itself, but when you have some of the necessary tools to say something but don't for fear of feeling rude and inhospitable might be a touch more humbling.

Hello my name is Emilie and I am a language perfectionist. I admit, dear readers, that when I try to use what I know it is hard for me to get the words out. This is caused by the facts that I pointed out when I was being honest when I wrote you last. Bosnian is a hard language to learn and it has 7 cases that I have not mastered yet. Also my vocabulary is not entirely extensive; I am how most would say, a baby in this language and I have not lost grip of reality to think that I should be fluent by now. No, I am surprised at how far I've come and the things I do know, but I am an impatient soul sometimes and feel the need to push forward when I am not ready yet.

However, I am aware of this weakness/stubbornness of mine. I will wish I never wrote this post later because  a few people who live in this household will read this and use it against me when I don't speak ;).  I guess sometimes I do just need a swift kick in the behind. Let's just say I've learned a lot about myself this trip to the old world.

Maybe I should make a bit more use of a rječnik to broaden that vocabulary a smidge. So there you have my confession of the day, my name is Emilie and I am a language perfectionist. It's like two sides pulling in opposite directions because on the one side I really, deeply want to speak and build better relationships with the people in their native tongue. But on the other there is this monstrous pull to not say anything because what might come out of my mouth might be completely wrong with a hint of ridiculous on the side.


Let me say, I understand how absolutely ridiculous all of this sounds. I am aware that this sounds completely cowardice. I am not writing these words with joy but with a heart of change I suppose. 


Well my friends I guess that is it for now and I will ask you to pray for this specific subject for me, that as I try to speak words, no matter how silly, will come out of my mouth. Thank you for your prayers up to this point and I am so glad that I can come to you with something specific knowing that it will be prayed for. As I've said before please continue to pray for this nation, it's believers and non-believers, it's workers and future workers. Also my friends another specific for your prayer time, pray for the churches established here, pray for strength in unity. Thank you for your prayers.


All to God