How he speaks

So I've talked about my little testimony up here before. I have admitted that it is not the most fantastic, people won't be in awe, it's a simple, Bible belt/Christian family testimony. I've always thought it would be great to have a wonderful awe-inspiring testimony of how I came to know Christ but then I realize that's like saying:

"God I'm glad I know you, but couldn't you have come to me in a more dramatic way?"

The truth is the dramatic ways in which God comes into someone's life can come with a price. Though Jesus has already paid our ransom for as far as our sin goes, people in this world may not understand why we chose the path we have. It may even cost us our lives, or put a price on our heads (in extreme cases). But we count this world for not.

Anyway my point is, I think I figured out why my testimony is the way it is. Praise God I even have a testimony, a story of how I came to find him among the rubble of this life. 

I think my testimony, being as simple as it can be, was meant for me because maybe I was supposed to only see by faith. Now, all of us are called to walk by faith, but hear me out. Many people in their testimonies have seen great things, dreams, asking for some proof and immediately getting it, or other ways. I saw none of these things, I merely looked at what my mother taught me and challenged it until I was sure that what she was talking about was real. 

I felt inside when I did something bad, against God's commands, my gut would churn with guilt. Just feelings and my curiosity of my mother's teachings brought me to really be faithful to God. I saw the minimum.

There was no BAM, that just happened, kind of moment.

It was more like an "alright God, I've studied enough, I've heard enough I can say I believe in you now". It felt spectacular when I knew, but years following it felt general, it felt like common knowledge. But as life progressed I felt more and more that this knowledge is actually not very common, and people have warped views of my God. I feel like I have followed by faith, with very little sight, although I hunger for sight. 

That's not saying that I am holier than the person reading this right now, because my faith, at times, was very thin. I pleaded for sight, a real sign, significant even. But if I ever did receive something like a dream or something it was subtle, God is a God of subtlety at least for me. But ironically enough when I find the subtlety it SCREAMS at me once noticed. 

This is how God has chosen to speak to me in my life thus far.

How does he speak to you?

All to God