Ready, set, no.

You know when you have an overwhelming passion for something but you seem to be too busy to further the passion or even calm it down? Then you've pinned me. I am so excited for the future, I am so excited to do something about it now and in ways I can! I think we all know what I'm talking about.

I've had an itch to speak the language, and be with the people. Although we all know I have confessed that actually speaking the language is tough for me, I've had an urge to just do it. Haste is and is not a necessity. There is an urgency to GO, but there is also a time to STAY. For now it is a time to stay and with this I must be content.

I am preparing for service in this part of the world and it is a mix of emotions, one of them at this stage is anxiousness. Quite possibly the worst of the emotions (instant gratification and all that.) So there I am, this is why my insides get all twisty with excitementanxiousnesshappinessimpatiencehopefulnessreliance and a slur of other things that I could smash together to look like a train wreck.

BUT God has time in his hands, it doesn't matter where I am my ministry is how I live my life. My heart however lies with the people, their needs, physical and spiritual. He knows my heart and especially the desires of it. In His time.

All to God.

To long, no talk

Well my friends I'm sorry for what seems like abandonment. I have not abandoned you. I have actually been writing to myself more personally, a lot going on inside this noggin of mine. Why I don't share you say? Well these are things just things you can't write about correctly...or at least I can't without the reader thinking "what in the world is she getting at?" So I write them personally.

It's just a strange time that I pray about. Times like these it's just good to have those things that really, only you and God understand. Some of it has to do with a great urge to get back to Bosnia, some has to do with other things. I am grateful to have a God that will listen, and who will even provide feedback and solutions in his own way.

So I do apologize for my lack of writing, the old noodle is being kind of put through the ringer. I love you my friends and I am so glad you are here and willing to read about my sometimes boring life. I'm grateful to have loved ones who pray consistently for me as I do live out this sometimes boring life. But sometimes this life is not boring and full of interesting moments that I am glad I can share with you, even if it is only through this blog. I am blessed to have you near and far.

All to God

A morning person

There are times I wish my brain didn't work the way it does. I want to have so many attributes that I just don't have. There are just some things I wish my brain would just get, but somehow it just doesn't. Things like 

Math

Man what I would be able to do on my own if I could master the principles in math instead of having to have other people check if I did my long-division correctly. 

But instead my mind likes to reject arithmetic and decides to fry out every time I work on it to a point of frustration and leaving me feeling discouraged.  

Or other things like

Time Management 

I have learned how to do this in college but not very well, although I seem to get it all done...some of it unfortunately piles up on the professors "late" stack on their desks. 

I try my hardest to figure out how to manage my time to where I can still live life outside of a robotic schedule. To some degree I do, but there are times....terrible times...when I feel like everything is like water rising all around me, and very quickly with no help in sight.

There are just these things and more that my brain like to reject or be able to figure out completely. I am capable I know, but sometimes feeling discouraged trumps trying harder. 

On the bright side of life...like that old song goes: Keep on the sunny side of life, there is rest for the mind, encouragement to counteract the discouragement, and joy to cover it all. Though sometimes life can seem impossible and annoying, God promises that joy comes with the morning.

We wake up to a new day, to make new decisions, love on another level, praise more than the day before, focus more than you previously have, and even change your perspective on a few things. We have the gift of waking up and feeling new. How great God is that he made us to be who we are and that he brings the new day.

All to God

Thanks Midterms, for Perspective

This week...............is midterm week for those of us here at MACU. It's Wednesday which means it's halfway through midterms, and I am trying my hardest to get everything done. Passing courses, performing well, waking up and not feeling like someone just ran over you with an eighteen-wheeler, and then backed up slowly over you again, are all blessings. There is still a lot to get done and it makes me feel a little like this most days:

Books piling up, work stacking and never going into the "out" box. It's overwhelming sometimes and sometimes gets a little crazy, BUT these are the days you have to take a hold of. These are the days that show you your diligence, that show you your will to succeed in whatever is put before you. This, of course, is on a small scale.

So I have chosen to conquer my enemy with a smile and have faith in myself and God that I will be able to sift through the work and come out the other end academically unscathed.

See that face there? That's the face of champions. Or just a really tired girl taking a picture of herself at a skangle (sky angle) feeling confident about her work.

Either way, its getting there, Friday is on the horizon, all things will be said and done. Whatever I massacre on my grades now can be made up by December, but I would like to not have that perspective but instead have the perspective of "Oh yeah, I'm going to pass without a doubt". 

Anyway, it's stressful but I can do it, and if there is a student reading this I say YOU CAN TOO! It's not hard really, we just have to stop our abnormally ADD American brains from jumping around long enough to get stuff done (this is no offense to anyone who is clinically proven to be ADD, we just use that excuse to much about why we can't succeed when it isn't even proven to us.)

Well that's my spiel. I hope your midterms are turning out beautifully.

All to God

Fall and Other Things

I may look back at this post and think "I am NOT as content as I was", but today I am content. I am content with life today, and I don't know why. Just a peace I guess. After a stressful week, maybe it's God-given, who knows? But the good and absolute thing is I am content.

I mean, it's October, a wonderful month indeed. A favorite of mine among other months, it is just one of those transitional months that are beautiful and different, not to hot, not to cold (depending on where you are in the world).

Soon enough this wonderful weather and these beautiful leaves will fade just like they do every year. Suddenly our surroundings might look like this again.

But not yet! It is still October!

I am content but the weird thing is I have a stack of work that MUST get done and is very important, but I am very ok with not doing it this day.

(Notice the Starbucks bag beside it? Yeah, that helps me get through all this work.)

I'll let the stress build tomorrow. I'm a procrastinator even with stress, isn't it twisted? Another wonderful thing about today is that my Mom is coming to simply hang out with me! I love her way a lot, and she is an awesome woman...you should meet her, you'd be blessed.

She's gonna kill me for adding this picture but I think it's precious, so get over it Ma...with love of course!

Yes, there are a lot of different aspects about today that make me really like today (no 8am classes for one). But mostly I am taking today because I'm embracing the contentment. It's a wonderful thing. I am blessed.

All to God