Mind Pocket

This week has been a terrible language week. By this I mean in language class, or just speaking in general has been a struggle. Words come out wonky and grammatically horrific. I mean, I'm normally bad, but this week makes other times feel as if I had almost mastered the language. Grammatical errors are normal when learning a language however, Monday's class took grammatical errors to a whole new level. It was almost as if it was the first day learning grammar again. Horrible. As I walked out of the classroom when our two hour class ended I think I literally face palmed myself.

Monday was bad, it's not gotten significantly better as the week has progressed however it's not gotten any worse. I've had good and bad days with language throughout this whole endeavor as one does in a foreign country. I have my list of small "wins" as far as language goes tucked away in my brain for when I truly am down about my language abilities. The flubs, the incorrectness, the almost sentences, well...they are too many to count. That's why that small pocket of "wins" are in my language survival kit.

This week I have had to pull out what few "wins" I have for a small dose of encouragement, like a drop of water hydrates a dry sponge. It's a system I built three years back the moment I knew I was going to live here. It's not a complicated system but for me it gets me through. Step 1: Speak simple words. Step 2: Feel good about your word choices. Step 3: Have people understand you. Step 4: Complete your task because of steps 1-3. Step 5: Hold a mental picture of the moment you felt proud of yourself while using what you know. Step 6: Create a pocket in your mind and stick these moments in there. Step 7: Look at them when you are feeling low about your language abilities.

So it's my seven step program I have created for myself so I don't go into an "I'm the worst and I'll never learn this language!" mode. I also remember that there are better days to come, and maybe even a day where I will actually join a conversation including multiple people instead of just sitting there listening. Maybe even a day (a long time from now) when I won't even have to think and I can just speak.

But today is not that day, and try as I might I will still come up short, not because I am terrible but because I am learning. Learning has a safety net, it allows you to have the wrong answers (granted you're actually trying). So yes, this week as far as language is concerned, has been a difficult one. My pictures in my pocket are getting a little tattered and it may be time to add some new ones sometime soon. I look forward to good language days.

If you are a monolingual starting to learn a new language like me then let me encourage you by saying that it is worth it, it's challenging, and it is rewarding. Let me show you reality in saying it will be very hard (unless you are a natural at this type of thing) and at moments very discouraging but there will be times when you feel like it is coming together and you can speak this language. If you really want it, you will get it. Simple as that.

Create that pocket and fill it up, my you pocket overfloweth.

All to God