Wait, wait, wait

I guess the worst part of this whole "getting educated" to be a missionary thing is the waiting. Waiting for anything that you have been longing for and are passionate about for a length of time is hard. You feel like you're stuck in this world of almost there and it never feels like it is.

It's timing I guess. Because I know that if I had never come to Bible college or been introduced to this world of missions by diving in I would not be as passionate about it as I am today. Therefore, training is necessary (for me anyways) there is lots I don't know, nor will I know until I actually experience it fully.

I love friends and learning things and being close to home. But Jesus...but Jesus convicts me to go. But there is the need to cool my heels and sit back and listen for a while. I guess I've always been a go-er, and a promoter of travels without thinking it through. I've always been the one with the idea to just pack up and go, but I was not counting the cost, I now count the cost.

So as for now I guess I feel like the same mundane routine happens everyday and the only thing I really have to look forward too after all is said and done is a fat sum of debt. But I'm pretty sure that's not all there is to it.

I like the uncertainty of the future, I like the space in my life that hasn't been written on yet. Yeah it's scary, but only in the sense that I want to do things right, with the idea that I'm not perfect.

So that's where my mind is. Yep.

All to God