An Urgent Heart.

Ok, so by now all of you have lost faith in my blogging efforts and I could not blame any one of you in the least. My blogs have been sparse at best and I suppose that life has been going and maintaining a pace that is good and tiring. So now, gross and fresh, from the gym this morning I've sat down to write you and share something.

It's not you, it's me, you deserve better.

Anyway, let's just dive in to this mess I call thoughts from my brain.

Outside of general love for people, I have had a few people on my heart. It's not just as if I chose people at random, these are people whom I have felt desperately about. Mostly, I don't even know them very well, but it sickens my soul to think about them anywhere but inside the Savior's grace and love. 

I hope my soul stays sick for these people and many more. I want to feel the urgency, because in reality I don't have time to wait. In my humanness I continue to believe the lie that tomorrow is certain and by the very next word I type all will be the same as it was the sentence before. I know that if these people began their journey toward Christ it would probably not be a sprint but a marathon and I have no qualms with that. God is perfect and his timing is immaculate, he knows when to burden a heart and when to bring it peace and I rely on him.

I want them to know that someone already stood in their place to take away punishment. I want them to know that there is so much to life outside of this small state of consciousness. I want them to see their King and forget the disunity this country suffers, and I want them to seek to heal it with the love that they come to know. I love these people in general, and the ones who burn in my heart like a brand are a part of the whole. 

I don't know really what else to write, you understand what I'm getting at. You may have even felt the sickening in your soul when you thought about certain people being outside of Christ. It's a sort of sickening that you feel and think about constantly, and in contrast to the negative connotation that "sickening" brings with it, this you might admit is a motivational "sickening."

Please be praying for me as I seek God's wisdom and his timing and as I pray for these individuals. Pray that I may have the Spirit's leading when it comes to having conversations with these people, and be praying for dreams that God might visit them when they sleep. As always, thank you for your prayers and sparing a thought here and there, they are precious to me.

All to God.